“Why mint a ‘trillion dollar’ coin? Wouldn’t a custom ‘trillion dollar’ poker chip do just as well? Or why not just float a ‘trillion dollar’ hot check post-dated a trillion years from now? Why complicate fraud?”On Cleo’s first birthday, she ate a lizard. The first time I took her for a walk, when she was but […]
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“You know what’s best about dollar-store dog toys? They only cost a dollar!”I love dollar stores, but more than that, I love Dollar Tree. The biggest Dollar Tree on earth is just up 99th Avenue, and, accordingly, mine is the idolatry of Dollar Tree: Sex toys, dog toys and all manner of helpful doo-dads and storage […]
“The best food is shared food.”Apparently the best thing managers can do, in the midst of a nationwide labor shortage, is to fire people in bulk… I smile: Reality will not be suppressed. Every trade requires mutual agreement. Left over from medieval serfdom, left over from equestrian Rome, left over from the aristocratic Greeks, employment practices […]
“I met a four-pound dog – really just a fur-blur, a big bug with bones. I don’t guarantee her position and momentum can be measured at the same time.”Is the real estate market cooling? Not where I work. To the contrary, good news just blew in yesterday from California: That state’s few remaining sane voters will […]
“Life is about balance: Work and play hard, eat well and wisely – and nap with enthusiasm.”To read me is to study DISC-my-way by default, because that’s what I’m doing. This is me yesterday on Facebook: History, until lately, was either Ci theocracy or Dc oligarchy. Gaius Marius, the Nazarene and the Apostle Paul inadvertently fathered […]
“What dog sells his own dinner?”As a matter of news, OfferPad went public last week – meaning none of the iBuyers are now backed by wide-awake entrepreneurs, just pie-eyed punters. The “offering” was done by Wall Street chicanery to avoid even the casual due diligence white-shoe investors normally do. But, of course, no due diligence will […]
“You think it’s hot. I find it pleasant. But try being an Akita in this desert.”I sing the praises of practical ontology because we live in a cacophony of lies: You either take personal responsibility for understanding what is actually happening around you, or you mimic the mouthings of professional mouthpieces. Do you see why? If […]
“Inferences are fun. You can make them out of almost nothing. Ask me how I know?”Hydroxychloroquine worked all along. This was obvious all last summer, through all the lying on TV. Ivermectin apparently works, too, given the chorale of hysteria against it. We have foreign news sources to tell us what our own propaganda stooges won’t, […]
“Deep sleepers miss out on the best snack opportunities.”I rhapsodize church, but I don’t go to church. But: I do go to Fellowship Hour, as valet and manservant to Miss Cleopatra Chioux, church dog. I’m perfect for the job: I don’t want to go to church and Cleo can’t. But receiving her vast and adoring […]
“Why do you ask ‘Who ate all the ham?’ when you know the cat didn’t do it?”I’m going to give you a brand-new term: Black-washing. Black-washing is racially-motivated white-washing. The term ‘diversity hire’ is a ‘dog-whistle’ denoting a persistent beneficiary of black-washing. Consequential errors by people of preferred racial categories are dismissed, ignored or lied about. […]
“Where’s Waldo? What does he smell like?”I have so many questions for dogs. That’s a funny observation, and I want to make it the first line of a book someday, but it really is no joke: In my personal ‘Freaky Friday’ fantasy I get to quiz dogs about everything. As noted, I think academics are useless […]
“Home is where the heart is. Food, shelter and heat are nice. Love is essential.”If you can read me, chances are you have lived your entire life in a Golden Age you did almost nothing to notice or appreciate. For every day of your life, everything has gotten better, faster, cheaper – and cooler – and […]
“Real estate is kids and dogs. If they’re not safe, you’re not wise.”To my chagrin, I was for this war, when it started. I believed the bullshit about ‘democracy building’ and I agreed that you cannot negotiate with bullies until you disabuse them of bullying. I was wrong about America’s resolve, obviously, but I was wrong […]
“Smart dogs earn fewer treats. How is that fair?”Here’s a fascinating fact, at least for everyone resonating between my ears: Miss Cleopatra Chioux, the French Bulldog to whom I am valet and Dutch Uncle, does not know how to jump down from chairs or sofas. She jumps masterfully, mind you – on terra firma. But she […]
“Control is seized. Cooperation is earned.”So my wife cooks with the big ugly pans, and she leaves them dirty because she know I don’t like for her to wash the big ugly stuff. But she leaves all the other dishes dirty, too, knowing that I can’t wash the big ugly pans until all the smaller stuff […]