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There’s always something to howl about.

Category: Casual Friday (page 23 of 25)

May 10, 2007

A cry from the heart for every chip-on-its-shoulder burg in America: Stage true drama in the theatre, darling

by

Suburban Phoenix Real Estate Broker

Author website

We saw a performance piece called “Love, Janis” last week. It wouldn’t do to call it a play. It was more of a fictionalized chronicle of Pearl cavorting with her inner child while blasting through her greatest hits at top volume. The music was beyond excellent, and the interstitial crap was no worse than Ray or Walk The Line or The Doors — no act of evil or self-destruction is ever your fault if your records chart well. Creepy and dopey (no pun intended), maudlin and mopey, but ultimately nothing. If they had cut all that and doubled up on the music, it would have been a knock-out tribute show.

Here’s the beef: Was this raucous rock ‘n’ roll encomium performed at an Indian casino, alternating with the Tina Turner and Michael Jackson impersonators? No, alas. Was it the 8 and 10 o’clock headliner act at an off-Strip locals resort in Las Vegas? Guess again. No, “Love, Janis” is part of this season’s “drama” from The Arizona Theatre Company, one of eight “plays” to be presented this season to audiences of rich white people, whose seats will be graciously subsidized by poor black and brown people.

This is “theauhtuh, dahling,” an allegedly high-brow undertaking undertaken in that high-brow “performance centre” downtown — itself graciously subsidized by people who only make it downtown when they are dispossessed by fate and taxes. And although I am speaking of Phoenix, particularly, everything I’m saying goes for every chip-on-its-shoulder burg in America. “We can’t be a true city without theauhtuh, dahling,” even if that “theauhtuh, dahling” turns out to be a complete joke.

What’s the real point of this ugly charade? Wealth is waste, but how can one justify the indulgence of a thousand-dollar gown if there is no “theauhtuh, dahling?” No symphony? No opera? No ballet? None of these boondoggles is profitable, and that by itself is an excellent argument for doing away with them. Mozart can’t make money, but neither can “pops” music conducted by TV’s Doc Severinsen. Cage fighting turns a buck, as do rodeo and tractor pulls, but how can one wear a designer Read more

May 7, 2007

Odds & Ends

by

Mega-Producing Realtor

Author website

In no particular order:

Who has the most irritating driving habits, men or women? I don’t think this question has an answer but found the comments section funny.

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The other Russell Shaw. Actually, there are several. This one I’ve been in touch with several times over the past few years, as people sometimes send him an Family Marketemail in an attempt to reach me. Russell always forwards them to me. He is (in addition to being a very nice and very bright
guy) a VERY prolific blogger. And until now he had not been blogging about real estate. He is now. As much as I might like to take credit for some of the insightful things he writes, I don’t want to risk getting caught – so I wanted to point out that I am not “that Russell Shaw”. In the past it was Russell the blogger and Russell the Realtor. The line became blurred once I joined BloodhoundBlog and now the distinction of “the one who blogs about real estate” just went away too.

He damn sure better not move from Portland to Phoenix and go into the residential real estate sales business – because then we are going to have trouble. 🙂

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Years ago I read a book (now out of print) called the Robert Half Way To Get Hired in Today’s Job Market. Robert Half had and has one of the largest employment agencies in the world. As I’ve always considered the process of me “getting a listing” me applying for a job – I got a lot out of it. About two years ago I happened to run across this website and was very impressed. His name is Nick Corcodilos. He has a free weekly email newsletter where he responds to letters from people looking for jobs. Lots of smart employers and business people read it regularly. There isn’t something I can use in every issue but there is often enough to make it worth my time.

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I received the following email from Kerry J. Grinkmeyer:

—– Original Message —–

From: Kerry J. Grinkmeyer

To: Number1Expert@nohasslelisting.com

Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2007 2:47 PM
Subject: Your Recognition Plaque

Russell Shaw

Congratulations on Read more

March 30, 2007

Soundtrack for my Project Bloodhound life

by

Rust Belt Realtor

Author website

This isn’t real estate related, but since I’m only here as a blogging experiment anyway…

A stunninngly gorgeous and pretty damn smart teenager has found a soundtrack for my Project Bloodhound life. It might be old to the technogeeks here, but it’s new to me, and as there is no accounting for taste, I think it’s fun. Just the thing for tapping your toes during blogsomnia (just close your eyes and listen, the video sucks).

Happy Friday!

March 28, 2007

Zoomquilt

by

Mega-Producing Realtor

Author website

This is the text of an email I received from a friend. I’ve never seen anything quite like it. It has nothing to do with real estate, a blog, getting more business, or any of the usual stuff we write about. It took many people a lot of time to create this and I was so impressed I just had to share it.

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Subject: Zoom Quilt

WOW, this is fantastic! You can watch it all day long and keep seeing more new things. It DOES need a sound track though. Please allow time for it to load…it’s worth it.

Zoomquilt

March 23, 2007

Silly Stuff I Wanted to Share

by

Mega-Producing Realtor

Author website

Just ran across this and saw at once it needed to be shared. It is called Scottsdale Sucks. Albert Einstein smallerThis one is called World’s Worst Websites. I’ve spent hours having fun looking at all the various links from this site. To me, some of the sites were laugh out loud funny. This one is called, The Best Page In The Universe. He says, “This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong.”

So when you want to spend a little time on something that has the charm of deliberate nonsense, try one of these.

I am hoping to win both the Cheez- Whiz AND the Weenie award.

March 20, 2007

The silencing of the lambs . . .

by

Suburban Phoenix Real Estate Broker

Author website

Exhibit one

Romeo: If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

Juliet: Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.

Romeo: Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

Juliet: Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

Romeo: O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;
They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.

Juliet: Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.

Romeo: Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.
Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.

Juliet: Then have my lips the sin that they have took.

Romeo: Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!
Give me my sin again.

Juliet: You kiss by the book.

Exhibit two

For young ladies too, it has been the intention chiefly to write; because boys being generally permitted the use of their fathers’ libraries at a much earlier age than girls are, they frequently have the best scenes of Shakespeare by heart, before their sisters are permitted to look into this manly book; and, therefore, instead of recommending these Tales to the perusal of young gentlemen who can read them so much better in the originals, their kind assistance is rather requested in explaining to their sisters such parts as are hardest for them to understand: and when they have helped them to get over the difficulties, then perhaps they will read to them (carefully selecting what is proper for a young sister’s ear) some passage which has pleased them in one of these stories, in the very words of the scene from which it is taken; and it is hoped they will find that the beautiful extracts, the select passages, they may choose to give their sisters in this way will be much better relished and understood from their having some notion of the general story from one of these imperfect abridgments; which if they be fortunately so done as to prove delightful Read more

March 10, 2007

Makin’ Whoppee: In praise of the sacrament of holy matrimony

by

Suburban Phoenix Real Estate Broker

Author website

Spring comes early to the desert and I have to get dressed for a Wedding Mass. In honor of the happy couple, here are the complete lyrics to Makin’ Whoppee:

Another bride, another June
Another sunny honeymoon
Another season, another reason
For makin’ whoopee

A lot of shoes, a lot of rice
The groom is nervous, he answers twice
It’s so killin’ that he’s so willin’
To make whoopee

Picture a little love nest
Down where the roses cling
Picture the same sweet love nest
See what a year can bring

He’s washing dishes and baby clothes
He’s so ambitious, he even sews
But don’t forget, folks, thats what you get, folks
For makin’ whoopee

Another year, or maybe less
What’s this I hear? Well can’t you guess?
She feels neglected and he’s suspected
Of makin’ whoopee

She sits alone most every night
He doesn’t phone, he doesn’t write
He says he’s busy, but she says “Is he
Out makin’ whoopee?”

He doesn’t make much money
Only five thousand per
And some judge who thinks he’s funny
Says he’s paying six to her

He says, “Now, judge, suppose I fail?”
The judge says, “Son, right into jail
You might just keep her, I’d say it’s cheaper
Than makin’ whoopee”

March 4, 2007

The RE.net waist-loss challenge

by

Suburban Phoenix Real Estate Broker

Author website

When I met The Leggy Blonde, I had a 34-inch waist. I was working out for at least 45 minutes every day, and I was maybe a can-and-a-half short of six-pack abs. I had been through a pretty bad car accident, and being in good shape was a secondary consequence of re-mastering the art of ambulation. (I can’t run at all, if you want to challenge me to a contest you know I’ll lose.)

Things change. Being enthralled by a woman takes time, and among the blocks of time I devoted to being enthralled — then being involved, then being a couple, then being a team, then being espoused — was the time I had spent working out. I have worked from home since 1993, and in all that time the refrigerator has never once forgotten my name.

By now I have a 45-inch waist, which doesn’t even count this great bulbous thing that hangs over my waist. I’m 47 years old, but I have always felt like I was 19. I weigh about 250 pounds, where I have always felt like I weigh about 160. I never, ever cease to be surprised when I see this old fat guy staring back at me from the mirror.

At the New Year, I resolved to do something different. Until the last ten years or so, I had always made time to read for pleasure. And, obviously, I haven’t been making time to work out. Now and then, catch as catch can — not enough. So I resolved to put in at least a half-hour a day on the stationary bike, this so I could also read at the same time.

The reading part is working out fine. I know the exercise is also working out, because I can feel the strength in my thighs, calves and glutes. My wind is better, and my overall stamina is improved. But I’m not seeing any visible weight loss. I’m not worried about losing pounds, so far, because muscle mass is more dense than fat. But I would like to see some evidence of evaporating fat.

Take it to the next Read more

February 2, 2007

The First Honorary Cheez-Whiz Prize: my-currency.com, where play money is play wisdom

by

Suburban Phoenix Real Estate Broker

Author website

When I was a child, I used to love to play Monopoly with my kid sister, Pammy. She was sweet and passive and just wanted to play, where I’m the most competitive. I would routinely put her six figures in debt, then just keep lending her more and more money, so that I could put hotels on absolutely everything.

I think this proves that I am an incomparably talented real estate investor. Kirk Kerkorian owns three of the four corners of the intersection of Tropicana and Las Vegas Boulevards. But the only difference between us, as real estate investors, is that Kirk is playing with real money, where I was playing with play money.

That can’t be much of a difference. Can it?

If you’re thinking, “Who would bother to answer such a dumb question?” — there is an answer: my-currency.com, a brand new Zillow.com wannabe that is even stoopider than an AVM for pricing homes.

The site explains itself in a particularly soft-skulled newage style:

CrowdValue is where we process everyone’s idea of value for specific problems – such as “What is the value of a house for sale” or “what will be the value of a square foot in 6 months in my neighborhood”? So in that regard, CrowdValue is exactly like the stock exchange – it brings people together to coordinate all the different views of value and settle on an equilibrium price, at a point in time. CrowdValue is a trading engine and marketplace.

No, CrowdValue is a silly, masturbatory game. Stock prices are not equilibria, they are a consensus among buyers and sellers about real values. A play money stock market is as dumb as… a play money real estate market.

An AVM is at least rational enough to make guesses about what real traders might do. There is no value whatever in making guesses about what pretend traders will do with pretend money. Most especially since real buyers and real sellers are the only people who can establish the market value of real property, by negotiating to a meeting of the minds.

I’ll award the first Odysseus Medal next week, but this week Read more

January 10, 2007

If it’s Wednesday, there must be another dog in our house . . .

by

Suburban Phoenix Real Estate Broker

Author website

This is our son Cameron with a two-year-old Bloodhound bitch we adopted today. She came to us with the name Ritz, but I have chosen to denominate her Ophelia because I can’t stand for dogs I like to have dumb names. Her original owners were not able to take her along when they moved, so Ophelia became dog number five for us.

During the French Revolution, the worthy humanitarians who brought us the Reign of Terror took it into their heads that Bloodhounds were insufferable symbols of the nobility. In consequence, they set about to exterminate the breed. They were so successful that, when a semblance of sanity was restored in France, breeders were forced to mix other lines with the surviving Bloodhounds to bring back the breed. If you look closely at Ophelia, you can see that she is much closer to her Coonhound forebears than is the much larger, much deeper-chested Odysseus. The white on her chest and paws is another throwback to Coonhound ancestry.

We have an English Coonhound named Desdemona, and it’s amazing to see how similar these two dogs are. Ophelia is smart and fun-loving and eager to please. We’ll see if she has a future in advertising…

Amending this: We haven’t seen the papers on this dog yet, but we’re convinced she’s a Redbone Coonhound.

January 9, 2007

Microsoft to add video games to Zune . . .

by

Suburban Phoenix Real Estate Broker

Author website

Wow… Evidently news doesn’t travel that fast…

But seriously: This is like Greek drama. How would it feel if your absolute best effort turned out to be a complete pig on the day of its introduction? And then, only a few months later, it had every last one of its teeth kicked out — by your arch-nemesis. And then, after that, you had to make make a lame-ass announcement that your little toothless brown pig will be even more obsolete — eighteen months from now. This is a day for falling on swords in Seattle…

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Inventing Real Estate 2.0

Welcome to BloodhoundBlog, the national real estate industry marketing and technology weblog written by, for and about real estate professionals. Better yet, welcome to the wired world of real estate. We are busily inventing Real Estate 2.0 – technology, marketing, service and salesmanship. Like all Bloodhounds, we are smart, frisky and fiercely independent. We've built a spot on the earth – beloved over all – where each one of us can be who we are, no matter who that might be. We are committed to an idea of excellence that will flush the bums, the con-men and the crybabies out of the real estate industry. If you yearn to have your failures excused, your moral lapses absolved or your boo-boos kissed, seek elsewhere. But if you are sick to death of mediocrity – welcome home. Read all about us, subscribe to our feed and steel yourself for the hunt. We work hard, we play hard, we learn everything we can – and we bow to no one.

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