There’s always something to howl about.

Category: Casual Friday (page 11 of 25)

Vook dead yet? Doesn’t matter. If you want to sell blades, first you have to find stubble that people are willing to pay to have shaved.

This was in my email this morning, spam from LinkedIn.com:

Joel Burslem is no longer Director of Product Development at Vook

Means what, I don’t know. Deck chairs on the Titanic. There is no huge surging mass of sub-literates demanding even easier-reading access to the half-shouted profundities of Gary Vaynerchuk. Love him or hate him, the guys lives and dies in video. He cannot be caged by a page, no matter how stylish or expensive or electronic that page might be. The book is a dead letter, so how could the Vook not be an even-deader letter? You cannot even pretend to believe otherwise unless you are in the pay of Brad Inman.

But: None of that matters. The Vook is instructive because it teaches us a host of interesting lessons about how to fail in business. Big names. Big funding. Design budget. Attractive product that works. Fancy offices filled with bigfoot corporate types. Even Aeron chairs, I’ll bet. What could go wrong?

Only this: There is no market for the product.

Remember that “find a need and fulfill it” bit from Business 101?

Can you name even one person who has confided to you, “You know, I’d probably read more if books were more like television?”

“I’d sure like to read more books, but the books I want to read are interrupted at intervals by bad actors enacting bad scripts.”

“What I want from books requires a sub-woofer!”

That’s a disaster from day one, and I have been ridiculing the Vook since first I heard about it. But even now, I can see an actual use for this technology: How-To books: How to build a rocking chair in 24 easy steps or The Kama Sutra for Klutzes. Those could sell, because they answer a need that can be served by both text and video. Even then, though, they’d be better as web sites — easier to control, easier to revise, etc.

But let’s go back to the Vook’s original marketing problem and try to solve it in a better way.

Brad Inman is a choke-point dinosaur. His goal was to come up with a “blade” dispenser — a relatively cheap razor Read more

When the Saints…

I’m an East Coast Liberal-tarian type who’s ok-down with all the political talk around here… in theory.

But in general I follow the no politics or religion in public rule… just because it’s easier, and I guess I wussily think there’s really only negative stuff that can come from political or religious chatter, especially done in a professional bloggy context…

Sports on the other hand, nobody’s offended by sports talk right?

Go Giants!

(Image, created by Eric Hartman)

When you’ve got your health, you’ve got everything…

A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story

Here’s what happened: I had to stop walking because I was sick. You may not know it, but on top of all the other scourges it entails, the state really has it in for itinerants. You may never have wanted to run off to Alabama with a banjo on your knee, but I’d bet you’re more than a bit dismayed to discover that you can’t. Got to have a fixed address, so they can inflict all their precious ‘benefits’ on you.

So I had to stop walking and I had to see a doctor, and of course I couldn’t. I’ve walked myself right out of society, and I have an inkling I may have walked myself right out of the human race. At least that’s the way Nurse Martinetti made me feel.

That’s really her name, but I think she must have married into it. She looked like American Gentry to me, which is to say John Bull white trash six generations from the last capital crime. Short, bottle-blonde with a cut that looks cute on smudged-nosed tomboys, thick through the ankle and the cortex. My guess is she became a nurse because she red-lined the psych profiles for meter-maid.

First, it’s not a doctor’s office, not anymore. It’s a ‘Health Services Cooperative’. We all know what a cooperative is: It’s a place where you go to not get whatever it is you came for. It would make too much sense to stay home, where you already don’t have it. In any case, Nurse Martinetti is charged with making sure that no one gets anything they came for, although they might get stuck (literally!) with quite a lot they’d have sooner done without. But I wasn’t even that (un)fortunate, because I don’t have a fixed address.

Nurse Martinetti gripped her clipboard and said, “What do you mean? How can you not have an address? Everyone has an address. Some people even have two!” She looked at me as if I were something a puppy accidently left on the carpet.

“…,” I said with a shrug.

“Are you homeless?”

“I wouldn’t say so. I sleep Read more

Howard Brinton : A Chance To Do Something Really, Really Cool.

I remember a long time ago, getting Star Power manuals in the mail.  Big, 3 ring binders full of worksheets that I’d work out with fear and trembling.  I remember getting star of the month stuff.

I remember hearing stars, ordinary schmoes like Phil Herman–a former postman talk about what made him separate from the pack.  I was hooked.  There was a formula to this success stuff, and this guy went out and gathered it up.

A collection of excellence was what Star Power was about, formed in the pre-Internet days, largely, maybe a precursor to the Bloodhound Blog of sorts.  In any case, Howard Brinton has been given a most unfavorable prognosis by his doctors.

So, a tribute site popped up, and it’s a place to go and reconnect with the stars, and to leave thoughts and tributes.   There, not here.   Thanks much.

Screenflow Rocks: 30 Minutes End to End.

Brian, Sean, into the breech I go.  I had wanted to stay out of Politics since the heartbreak of the campaign last year (organizational dysfunction at the highest level).  I wanted to steer clear, but I got sucked in.

It’s a bad idea to think about politics because then instead of pounding the damn phones, you get sucked into this stuff.

This took a half hour for me, end to end.  Screen flow rocks.  Call me sometime if you want one that tells Your story.  Given more time, they turn out better, but speed is what kills.  The fast DO eat the slow.

This video was made with 3 things:

Screenflow.

Garage Band (for the U2 Loop).

8.5 x 11″ sheet of paper to tell the story.

This was more of a proof of concept–telling a story in 30 minutes or so.  I downloaded and quickly edited youtube video supporting what story I was going to tell (namely that Sarah Palin could be president, and that Sarah Palin needn’t be in my crotch).

This was done rapidly–I’m aware that there are transition goofs and I don’t plan to fix them.  They are my fault, not Screenflow’s.  I was trying to do something in a timed fashion,

But, I used to have to splice Screenflow in with keynote, and I will still likely use keynote, but not as much with the new version of Screenflow.

Screenflow + live type does everything that you’d want from a NLE with the exception of chroma key.  I do wish that Keynote had some sort of output-to-alpha type function, or transparent backgrounds.

Speed is what matters.  If I was (and thank God I had the sense to quit) still a loan officer, you damn well better believe I’d do a screenflow talking head each and every day with rates and other stuff.  You could be end-to-end in 10 minutes, and your arrows would quickly block out the sun.

I’ll indulge myself over the weekend with another video, and demonstration of A/B testing with Google Website Optimizer at a new little thing Bawld Guy and I are doing.

When the weather finally breaks in Phoenix — it breaks for ten solid months of pure paradise…

This from my Arizona Republic real estate column (permanent link):

If you live in New York or Boston or Chicago, there will come a day in the Spring when the cold will seem to be in full retreat. The sun will be shining. The icicles on the trees will be melting, and the tickle of the cold drops of water on your hair and neck will make you want to throw your arms out wide and rejoice in your release from the awful prison of Winter.

That happens in Phoenix, too, but it happens six months earlier, on September 15th. Mid-March has its own charms, when the citrus trees open their blossoms and the air is thick with the nectar of heaven perfected. But it’s when the Summer breaks in Phoenix that people come outdoors, knowing that the next ten months will be simply perfect.

Consider: On August 15th, the late-afternoon temperature could be 115 blistering degrees. The sun will be relentless, seeming to hang for hours above the horizon, seeming never to set. The relative humidity will be 40% or more — which doesn’t sound too bad until you remember the temperature. Late in the day, huge storms could come thundering into the Valley of the Sun, flooding the low-lands and even tearing the roofs off of older houses.

That season — we call it “the Monsoon” — lasts from July 15th to September 15th. But when September 15th rolls around… paradise ensues. Daytime high temperatures drop to below 100 and the relative humidity tops off at below 10% — so dry you can smell the dry leaves and pine needles baking in the sunlight.

That might still sound too hot to you, but it’s not. It’s just perfect, an ideal time to be outdoors — all day and all night. There is simply no place like Phoenix, no place on Earth. We suffer, slightly, during the Monsoon, but we are repaid with ten months of the kind of weather that other cities are lucky to see for ten days in any given year.

And Winter — which you are just now beginning to dread — Read more

Twittering Twitts of Twittledom

tweedledee-tweedledumI have always loved Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll.  It is many things, not least of which is a truly amazing exposition on language.  I bring this up because I recently read Brian Brady’s piece entitled Is Social Media Marketing Worth the Effort and quickly imagined myself on a walk with The Walrus and the Carpenter.  Greg Swan commented on Brian’s piece by publishing a video of himself, talking to us about his lack of interest in Social Media Marketing.  I can only describe this as so eerily representative of what one might find on the other side of Mr. Carroll’s looking glass that it’s borderline derivative! For reasons that will be clear in a moment, I felt compelled to jump into the conversation.

‘Contrariwise,’ continued Tweedledee, ‘if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t.  That’s logic.’

That’s logic… You just have to love the confidence of that line.  What’s even more interesting is how well this quote appears to sum up a few of our SMM darlings.  I’m thinking of Twitter here and as a matter of full disclosure: I’ve never used it.  As a matter of fact, I don’t believe I’ve used any Social Media in a way that can be measured for Return on Investment or conversion of prospects into customers.  As a matter of fact, the very idea of measuring return on investment or counting conversions goes a long way in explaining why so few people succeed in our business: they confuse marketing with advertising.  I’m itching to write a piece exploring that malady and will get to it as soon as I can carve out a little extra time.  But meanwhile, we have Twitter.  I know people right here in the Hound who are so old-school when it comes to marketing that they’re actually successful in this business (I’m not directly referring to the Bawldguy here, but if you’re still unsure I will look in his direction and whistle) and yet even HE has a Twitter account!  Go figure…

In Twitter Policies Come to Read more

REBarcamp: It’s not just for Realtors anymore

Got any thoughts about REbarcamp? I’m not even sure how to spell it. But I went to REbarcamp in Columbus OH-I-O, and had a mahvelous time. The venue was nice, clean, easy for the navigationally challenged to navigate, no waiting lines at the Ladies Room. What more could we ask for? It was well-organized, and the organizers were accommodating.

A question came up while I was there: Would I go to another rebc? It gave me pause. I like to meet people, so I would certainly be looking for another opportunity to do that again. But rebc? I’m not so sure. I really dislike conferences in general, and on the drive home, just like I did after BHBU, I pondered what I would do to improve my rebc experience.

I did get it wrong about rebc sponsorships, btw. No one pays any attention to who is sponsoring anything, so that is a total non-issue. If you are using sponsorship as advertising, well, um, yeah. Of course the highlight was meeting people I only know online. Meeting face-to-face is one of the best reasons to go to most real estate functions, and rebc is no exception to the rule. What was so wonderful about rebc/OH-I-O is that the vast majority of people there were corn-fed Ohioans, just like me. My people. We have a common bond, we speak the same language, there is an ease and familiarity that follows. I really loved that more than I can express, so I would look for opportunities to get together locally and share ideas- that’s all barcamp is about, right? So here’s where it gets a little sticky to me. What is the big deal?

Call it Midwest practicality, but it’s local Realtors. And we are talking about local real estate. Think about it. When did this become hoopla-worthy? When did you need a name, an umbrella organization, a fancy venue, a nearby hotel, a website, a logo, sponsors, organizers, nationally known speakers, in order to share ideas about local real estate?

And so. Come with me to a little meeting with Jesus. I want to get together with Read more

I’ve got friends in Loan Places…

Radio Announcer: Don’t touch that dial! It’s time for crying, loving or leaving. And this first song has it all! It’s Jessica Horton with her debut song, “I’ve Got Friends in Loan Places” from the album: “If Tomorrow’s Closing Never Comes (The thunder is gonna roll!)”.

Blame it all on my buyer
Even if you’re a crier
Who doesn’t like to answer his phone.
The first one they called,
The first message they left
You were the last one
to explain about financing a home.
And I heard the surprise
And the hurt in your voice
When they went to the very next name
And that lender came through
Said, buyer, “This we can do!”
No, you’ll never hear me complain…

’Cause I’ve got friends in Loan Places
Where phones are on after 5:00.
And chances are never wasted
My buyers credit is more than ok…
I’m not big on your excuses
Facebook said you were busy taking cruises
Oh, I’ve got friends
in loan places!

Well, I guess you were wrong
People won’t wait too long
But then again, neither will you
Everything’s ok
Things get in the way
And, you had places to go’oh
Hey, I didn’t mean
To imply that you’re green
Just answer your phone and then…
Well, I’ll keep on sailin’
Like that cruise ship captain
That you’re currently on…

’Cause I’ve got friends in Loan Places
Where phones are on after 5:00
And chances are never wasted
My buyers credit is more than ok.
I’m not big on your excuses
Facebook said you were busy taking cruises
Oh, I’ve got friends
in loan places!

Radio Announcer: Love that song! Just love it! Next, it’s an oldie but goodie: Harper Valley B.O.R. – A song about real estate agents all up in each others business, and it goes something like this…

Album Credits: I would like to thank God. My husband. Mom & Pop and my cousin Earl and Aunt Lou. And, a special shout-out to all lenders: Thank you for your cookies – my kids loved them! However, if you’re looking for the quickest way into my heart, it’s through my ears and not my stomach! I love to hear, “Jessica, I called such and such lender on your list and they answered the phone and took my information – right there on the spot! Thank Read more

Too Stupid To Do Business With?

I’m not that guy who loves forwarding funny emails, but my father-in-law sent one to me that I had to share because it could totally apply to our industry.

Either way, I thought it would make for a little Friday fun.

___________

This is a true phone call from the Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired.

>>>

“ABC computer assistance; may I help you?”

“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with Word Perfect.”

“What sort of trouble?”

“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away.”

“Went away?”

“They disappeared.”

“Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“It’s blank, it won’t accept anything when I type.”

“Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?”

“How do I tell?”

“Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”

“What’s a sea-prompt?”

“Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?”

“There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”

“Does your monitor have a power indicator?”

“What’s a monitor?”

“It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into
the wall.”

“Yes, it is.”

“When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”

“No.”

“Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable.”

“Okay, here it is.”

“Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back
of your computer.”

“I can’t reach.”

“Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”

“No.”

“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”

“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s
dark.”

“Dark?”

“Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from the window.”

“Well, turn on the office light then.”

“I can’t.”

“No? Why not?”

“Because there’s a power Read more

Unchained melodies: Stumblin’ onto the heart of Tom Waits

I’ve been tormenting Teri Lussier with Leonard Cohen. We can plumb for a new pain threshold with a selection of classics from Tom Waits. I don’t love everything about the sentiments behind this music, but I will always give it my highest score for having ambition, for daring to be something different from all the other crap that flows through your ears without ever penetrating your mind. The art that matters most to me is about splendor, where much of Waits is about squalor — but at least it’s about something. Give it your attention and see if it is repaid.

Finding Perfection in Real Estate

Earlier this week I was watching some old reruns of M*A*S*H.  What a well done series that was; funnier the first few years than it was later, in my opinion, because they got more political.  But the later years did give us a terrific character: Major Charles Emerson Winchester III.  Do you remember this guy?  What a pompous ass he was.  Speaking of pompous asses, why am I spending your valuable time reminiscing about a sitcom?  Good question, but I’ve got an even better answer.

I’m a big believer in being present.  If you’ve read any of my stuff or heard me speak, then you already know this.  As a matter of fact, if you’re anything like the agents I meet out here, you might even be tired of hearing it.  You might find the whole topic a little touchy-feely.  “There goes Sean again.  He might be a debonair, handsome, witty, intelligent, entertaining, man-of-action; but I’m tired of the Zen-happiness thing.  (I took a little license imagining what your thought about me might be;  you might not actually find me debonair…)  So today I’m going to sneak a little happiness in on you using pop culture: M*A*S*H to be specific.

Back to Major Charles Emerson Winchester III; as much of a buffoon as he was, the writers also gave him some of the most interesting lines.  I’m thinking of two in particular.  During one of his character’s early episodes, by way of explaining himself to the other doctors, he says, “I do one thing at a time, I do it very well, then I move on.”  That’s a great line isn’t it?  “I do one thing at a time…” sounds like someone who is present.  Someone who is focused on what he’s doing right then and there.  So far, so good.  “I do it very well…”  Hmmm, a little ego coming in here;  not so much about being present as it is being recognized by others for his accomplishments.  “Then I move on.”  OK, so now we see that he’s not really present at all.  He’s thinking about the next thing, but before Read more

The Problem With Agents: They’re Not Selfish Enough

I talk to a lot of real estate agents and if there is one universal problem I see, it’s this: you are not selfish enough – not nearly selfish enough.  I’ll explain that in a minute.  First, let me ask:  how many reading this took auto-shop in high school?  I’m guessing maybe half.  Of those that took auto-shop, how many actually work on their own cars?  Right.  You don’t take it so you can grow up and work on your car.  You take it so when your car breaks down you have a clue what might be wrong with it.  You want to know if the repair shop is taking care of you or just taking you for a ride.  The importance of wide-ranging knowledge is even greater for agents.  The real estate business is a difficult one in the best of times and it’s always time consuming.  It encompasses so many different areas, you may not need auto-shop (although I recommend it),  but you do need Mortgage-shop, Title-shop, Escrow-shop, Sign-shop, Web Site-shop, Appraisal-shop, Home Inspection-shop, Staging-shop and on and on.  Obviously you can’t be an expert in all these areas, but just like auto class, you should know enough to make sure you – and your clients – are being taken care of rather than just taken for a ride.  Beyond that the most important thing you can do is surround yourself with a team that excels in these areas.  Herein lies the problem for which I titled this post:  real estate agents are not nearly selfish enough… with their time.

I’m going to share one perspective on how big an impact this can have on your bottom line.  Last Wednesday I was involved with three different events affecting over $1.7 million of real estate transactions.  For the math challenged, that’s $51,000 in real estate commissions.  I’m writing this from a lender perspective because that’s what I am, but it’s all about the agents.

  • Early on Wednesday we funded a VA purchase loan for a little over $700,000.   Not remarkable in and of itself;  Read more

Hectoring Rian from the iPhone 3G 3.0

Yesterday I upgraded my iPhone to version 3.0 of the operating system software. So far, a pretty big yawn. Typing is plausibly easier, though still not easy. Cut and paste were not on my list of must-haves. Zillow upgraded its app to allow push notification, so your phone can tell you if one of your saved searches has popped up a new candidate. Okay…

I wasn’t unhappy with the iPhone before — quite the contrary! — but I don’t think I have any new reasons to be happier from this upgrade. Safari 4, by contrast, is totally killer, and I could not be more pleased with suddenly-faster-everything on my iMac.

One thing I played with right away on the iPhone was the new voice recording app. Not that impressive. It records losslessly at 44khz, which means the saved files are huge. They can be transferred only by email or hard-wired sync — no BlueTooth, no WiFi — and almost everything is too big to move by email. This is the kind of dumb, useless software I expect from Microsoft, not Apple, so one may hope it will get better in future versions.

Anyway, as a test, this morning I made a short little audio greeting card for Rian Lussier, who is about to undergo surgery. The file is a monstrous 25 megabytes, and it took over an hour to sync to my iMac (no hope of emailing a file that large).

Even so, the recording quality is not awful (there’s a buzz in places from me speaking too loudly), and the sentiments are what they are.

Godspeed you well, Rian.