There’s always something to howl about.

Author: Lani Anglin (page 3 of 3)

Real Estate Rainmaker

Maybe Everyone Should Be Punished

realtorwives.comThe most irritating blog topic on the current front burners is Realtor commissions being questioned. I’ve seen several commercials that have made me think that as a consumer, I should question ALL commissions!

COMMERCIAL ONE: Best Buy has a great campaign where people note “I need a fridge that is energy efficient… even when we’re not” and “I need X, Y and Z features.” You may know what features you want, but you rely on the “specialist” at Best Buy to help you find the perfect appliance. It is without a second thought that we put decisions like that on others. When I shell out those few thousand dollars, all I get is a receipt with the amount- I don’t get to see how much the profit margin is for the manufacturer or for the retailer. Shouldn’t I get to negotiate this? Shouldn’t I have a say in how much I think the profit margin should be on this product and the service of locating this product?

There is no transparency in the appliance industry. But guess what- I don’t care. I feel that if I am confident in the product that met my criteria and it is delivered to my house that day, they deserve their percentage!

COMMERCIAL TWO: Various musicians sing while riding in (or rapping in front of) different Chevrolets. I love the music in the commercial and find myself humming it throughout the day. We’ve all purchased vehicles and done the price negotiation. Have you ever asked a salesperson to waive their commission? Do you even know what their commission was? Did you think for a minute that it should be standard that they earn 1/8% on the transaction? Some car salespeople are greasy, but our salesman is a wonderfully talented man that we will always stick with. More than once, he has guided us through weeks of fickle test driving and endless lists of questions about torque, grades of leather, number of cupholders and financing. It never crossed my mind to offend him by asking how much he was making and if he could do the same sales job Read more

“This house don’t fit… what’s your return policy?”

this house don't fitThe year is 2015 and the RE online brokerages reign. Buyers search for homes online, click a button to complete a closing, and pick up their keys the next morning to see their NEW home!

Here are some sample voice messages left for the operators at the MegaOnlineBrokerage:


“I thought 13 by 13 meant feet, not inches…”
“I want to list my home online but the value keeps coming up ‘&=null’…”
“This key doesn’t work, how do I get into my house?”
“I thought they were going to fix the A/C before close- it’s burnin’ up in here!”
“The ad said there was a pool, but all I see is a dirty coy pond.”
“I have left 17 messages- will someone please call me back?”
“I must have clicked “buy” at the same time as someone else- this guy ALSO has papers on this house and our movers are fighting over who should unload first.”
“I thought all appliances conveyed- all I have here is a toaster.”
“Does the warranty cover squirrels in the attic?”
and my personal favorite, “This house don’t fit, what’s your return policy?”

What else do YOU suspect will be on the MegaOnlineBroker’s operator voicemail? And what do YOU think the scripted responses will be?

Faking It

Smarmy Fluffy FakeI just wanted everyone to know that I am the “Top Blogger.” I also host the “Fastest Growing Blog” in America. I have the “Highest Reader Satisfaction On The Web,” and I was voted the “Best Wife In The World.” There, I said it.

What’s that you say? How can you disagree with my claims? I put them in print, they must be true! Alas, some of these may not be true, much like blatant imaginative statements made on Real Estate websites and business cards worldwide. Is this the stuff your marketing is made of? As most of you know, I’m not a Realtor, but I am a consumer (okay, a self-acclaimed consumer/shopping pro) who works for a Realtor firm and is hyper-exposed to Real Estate at least 70 hours a week. That said, I give you my Top 5 Offensive (and often false) Claims:

CLAIM #1- Top Realtor in The City/Nation/World
This is a personal favorite- simply Google “Top [insert your city here] Realtor” and the results are endless. How is it possible that hundreds of people are ALSO the “Top Realtor” in your city? This claim is frequently used because it is subjective, but when everyone claims this ranking, it falls on deaf ears! So, what does your claim mean? Are you the top highest producing, the top recruiting broker in the city, or do you claim the top closing ratio? All of us here know that fluff is abundant on websites and canned material still rules the day, but if you have to fake itit ain’t that good.

CLAIM #2- Your Neighborhood Specialist
There are many specialists out there, and several Realtors can specialize in the same subdivision, but don’t close your eyes, point at a map and pick a spot to farm, thus claiming your “specialty.” That would be like ME saying that I am THE Scripps Ranch, CA specialist (yet I’ve never been there and besides, the Bergs have it on lockdown). I got a flyer on the door the other day. This Realtor claimed to be my neighborhood’s specialist and “Top Realtor.” Strange- I have never seen a Read more

Watch Your Ankles- Here I Come!

Lani Anglin- Ankle BiterGreg mentioned in an email an “overture” and I thought he meant that he wanted to share the link love. It wasn’t in Latin, so I grazed right over it- I completely missed that he was inviting me to be a Bloodhound Blogger! My first response was telling my husband that Greg was making fun of me and using words that I should know (umm, I do have a B.A. in English, but I haven’t practiced in a while, so my fluency is fading…).

Upon realizing the gravity of the situation, I had to return ad fontes (as DuBellay would put it) to the other Bloodhound Bloggers’ first posts. That messed me up even more- I feel obligated to be intellectual (Greg Swann), comical (my hero- Kris Berg) and be able to tell a great story (Teri Lussier). Instead, I will carefully select a dog I most relate to; that seems logical, right? First, I had to wonder if I would relate to my American Eskimo, but I don’t shed quite as much as he does, and I don’t feel the need to constantly walk behind my Person with my nose on their back leg at all times (I mean all the time, never ever never ever stopping, even if my nose is wet). Instead, after further consideration, I’ve decided I’m a French bulldog.

I appointed myself as a French bulldog because I am small, I think I’m funny, I am playful and I make a great companion. My drawbacks are my big ears (not literally) and that I dig a lot. I really do dig- I am constantly absorbing hundreds of blogs, websites, newspapers, business journals and Fox News simultaneously- it’s a problem… I’m working on it. But, I’m potty trained, I don’t usually drink from the toilet, and I learn new tricks every day- I might just be the fresh addition BHB needs!

I am (purposely) not a licensed Real Estate Agent, nor am I a Realtor, but the only thing I’ve ever known is Real Estate. I confidently address issues and news in our Read more