There’s always something to howl about.

Author: Greg Swann (page 4 of 209)

Suburban Phoenix Real Estate Broker

Overnight News: The war on merit hurts everyone, but it cripples the poor worst.

Ya think it's easy?

“Home is where the dogs are!”

Cleo is with us, and she and I will be working at the new place today. I installed a TV over there yesterday, so we can have college football on while we work. She likes the colors, I like the cheerleaders.

The stands will be filled with white people, of course, while the playing field will be peppered with black people. What explains this “segregation”?

It’s merit, obviously. The racial composition of the football team will be black, with white, yellow and red people thinly represented in the long tail. This is not racist, it’s selection by merit among racial groups who different skills and talents. It is alike and equally not racist that the chess team is all Asians and Jews. But of course, the football team does not feel itself obliged to recruit a token nerd.

The war on merit is a terrible idea – for everyone – but the people most trapped by it are the ones for whom superior ability is their only way out. Children of moneyed families will always get a leg up, within the system or by escaping it. But it’s the kids of all races who have no one to fall back on but themselves who need and deserve the chance to claw their way out of poverty.

In other news:

David Harsanyi: Biden Administration Is Trying to Intimidate Parents.

Matt Welch: NYC Scrapping Gifted and Talented Program Is a Triumph of Redefining Language: Branding disparate racial outcomes as “segregation” is an effective way in Democratic polities to tear down programs some progressives don’t like.

Overnight News: If you only love brute labor when you can see a big difference – move!

Ya think it's easy?

“What matters most about moving is that the whole pack stays together!”

I am Driven before everything, and my favorite ‘D’ word is: Difference. I love the word done, but it can be a long way from begun to done. I like to see a difference in the work I do, every day, and work where there is no discernible difference to be seen – e.g., most regular jobs – is simply not pleasing to me.

And so we are moving, which involves a lot of physical labor – not the favorite sport of big-brain pontificators – but also a lot of sorting and sifting and separating, tasks I could never stand to do three days in a row.

But in this context – exigent but temporary – it is very satisfying: Dramatic changes, three and four times a day. I am currently trash-logged, a fun problem to have, and we will shed tons of debris before this move is done.

Like everything else, moving is a praxis, but you do it so rarely that it’s hard to get better at it. I am very sure that we will not be better-thought-out in our spontaneous orderings – just slightly better-organized.

In other news:

Brad Polumbo: Progressive Politicians Predicted Massive ‘Tsunami’ of Evictions After Supreme Court Ended CDC Moratorium. It Hasn’t Happened.

Andrew Klavan: At the Heart of Our Divisions: Socialism is immoral—and it makes us hate one another.

Tristan Justice: Third Round Of Jan. 6 Subpoenas Target More Citizens Exercising Their Right To Protest.

Overnight News: Instinct will out?

Ya think it's easy?

“Why mint a ‘trillion dollar’ coin? Wouldn’t a custom ‘trillion dollar’ poker chip do just as well? Or why not just float a ‘trillion dollar’ hot check post-dated a trillion years from now? Why complicate fraud?”

On Cleo’s first birthday, she ate a lizard.

The first time I took her for a walk, when she was but barely weaned, she ate a bug. I regarded that as a salutary accomplishment for a young apex predator, but the lizard was a quantum beyond mere bugs: She saw it, captured it, conquered it and devoured it – very slowly.

My joke now, about food she likes, is that it’s made out of genuine lizard – worth the chewing. Everyone else Miss Chioux knows thinks that a girl dog is a girl, where I know all dogs are dogs. I can make them squeal simply by saying, “Remember: Nothing builds bones like bones.”

There’s more: Tuesday, late afternoon, I took Cleo over to our new place, to start getting her acclimated to it. All transitions are disruptive to toddlers, but gradual transitions become adventures. I had some of her toys there, and the house it empty for now – just another gym to Miss Chioux. The back yard is circumvallated – it has a block wall – so we played outside, too, with her dodge ball and with tennis balls.

But there was (is?) a rabbit trapped in the back yard. Cleo scared it up and the race was on. The bunny was fast, but Miss Chioux is, too. He managed to find a place to hide, but Cleo could not forget him. I took her inside, hoping the rabbit would find a chance to escape. No joy. When we went back out, she scared him up again. One, two, three times around the yard and she had him, pinned to the ground with a mouth full of fur. I pulled her off by her harness or that bunny would have been dinner – to a roly-poly little bloody-faced girl.

I took her back in to what will be my office, but she was crazed, yipping and barking, Read more

Overnight News: Double the showings, double the damage? Double the time on market? Double the risk? Redfin has the answers!

Ya think it's easy?

“‘Lizard season!’ ‘Bunny season!’ ‘Lizard season!’ ‘Bunny season!’ ‘Lizard season!’ ‘Bunny season!’”

“Showing causes damage.” I said that to a seller last week, in support of taking an early cash offer, in preference to waiting through the weekend to see if financed buyers could try to beat it.

Fun, then, to see Redfin.com – America’s highest-tech national database of Pending listings – promising to double sellers’ unvetted showings.

Want me to sell you on Buyer’s Brokerage? Someone has met the buyer, has run his credit, has photocopied his driver’s license.

Redfin is bragging that it is adding security to a stupidly insecure process, but so what? Will double the showings surface the best-qualified buyer? No, that’s the all-cash offers that come in without showings on the first day. Will it result in less damage to the property? Will unsupervised access get some houses trashed, others burned to the ground? Hide and watch.

What’s most interesting about big-talk technology in real estate? Everything it says to the marketplace is nuts – and all of its “listings” are Sale Pending.

In other news:

Brad Polumbo: #MintTheCoin: Economist Explains Problem With Just Minting $1 Trillion Coin to Pay the Government’s Bills.

Sharyl Atkisson: America’s botched Afghanistan withdrawal: ‘It’s even worse than people know’.

Roger Kimball: Is this the beginning of the end of the Biden administration?

Overnight News: How much pain would ditching Facebook entail?

Ya think it's easy?

“Love wanes with distance. That’s why the internet wants to kill it.”

So you know: The physical addiction to caffeine can be shed with only three days of excruciating headaches. True fact. There are other ways of getting there without the pain, but if you want to be done, the quick way is three endless days of absolutely no fun.

I’m guessing ditching Facebook would be even easier…

In other news:

CNBC: Even with low interest rates, mortgage payments are increasingly unaffordable.

City Journal: Unsustainable: The Biden administration’s new immigration-enforcement guidelines will have bad practical and political effects.

Legal Insurrection: AG Garland Weaponizes FBI Against Parents Protesting Critical Race Theory, Mask Mandates.

Overnight News: When the steam drill can write hymns, that’s when John Henry is bested.

Ya think it's easy?

“What’s better than napping? Napping and snuggling.”

I would hate to have to have a job, but there is a benefit: You get to see the same places at the same times every day: You get to watch the world change: You get to see it costumed by the ever-changing light.

That’s not just warm beer, it’s warm near-beer. But in the age of the internet, if you want to be in business for yourself, you have to do something the internet can’t do – at least not without your help.

Mere brick ’n’ mortar won’t cut it: We’re talking blood, sweat, toil and tears. If something can be bought or sold remotely, it will be. If a task can be effected remotely – or robotically – it will be. What remains are jobs that can only be done on-site, in-person, by laying human hands on real stuff.

That’s a lot of scut-work – what we used to call craftsmanship – but it’s also all of art. Human beings are built for better things. We educate people terribly, for now, and Ci makes a hell of school, of work – of everything. But if we are to be relieved of everything machines can do, it is so we can do the work they can’t.

In other news:

City Jounal: The New Secession Movement: States increasingly look to ban travel and business with other American locales.

Roger Kimball: The January 6 Insurrection Hoax.

California Globe: Homeschooling Inquiries Skyrocket After Gov. Newsom Announces Statewide Student Vaccination Mandate: Statewide mandate ‘final straw’ for some parents on fence about homeschooling.

Overnight News: The secession solution? Turn Marxist big cities into Grasshopper reservations.

Ya think it's easy?

“Put one or the other in charge of the food supply. Then see how your cat and your dog get along.”

The fate of big cities is to become Grasshopper ghettos: Working-from-home was happening anyway, but it was vastly accelerated by the virus, and soon Elon Musk will inaugurate working-from-anywhere. Meanwhile, the worst of urbanity becomes more-concentrated as the Ants withdraw. That argues that big-city demographics, going forward, will skew toward dissipates and welfare slaves – and the predators who profit on them.

This coincides nicely with the current urge to secede, apparently held by virtually everyone. As discussed, the United States cannot split up. But it can make the big cities – red blotches of pustulant Marxism pock-marking an otherwise healthy country – “sovereign nations” – you know, just like the Indian reservations. All the fun of being a “nation” – with none of the pesky responsibilities. As Willie foresaw, they could even have casinos, just like the other red Americans.

What they can’t have are weapons of war – you know, just like the Indian reservations. Lose the nukes, keep the kooks? That will sell in Manhattan. Lose the kooks, keep the nukes? That works just right for Manhasset. Problem solved.

We may have a basis for splitting up, but the Grasshoppers do not occupy whole states but only major metropolitan areas – and not all of those. As noted above, this self-sorting will continue, as Ants realize they have fewer and fewer reasons to remain in Grasshopper cities. Split away those Marxist metros, giving them all the power and dignity of an Indian reservation, and all the conflict is gone from our midst.

Are Grasshoppers wrong in their life choices? I would say yes, as would any Ant who dares to speak, but Grasshoppers are not at all shy about criticizing Ants. So be it. Different strokes for different folks, and each man to his own saints. But: Ants do not live comfortably among Grasshoppers – and now they don’t have to.

Big cities will become Grasshopper ghettos. Were they wise, they would defuse the Civil War talk and assure their own Read more

Overnight News: If all you’re teaching is nothing, why give grades at all?

Ya think it's easy?

“In big cities, they raise children like unloved puppies. That’s why there’s shit everywhere.”

I studied Latin as an adult, in pursuit of nothing but self-improvement, which might-could tell you something: I spent my time and my money – costing myself earning opportunities – and, accordingly, I studied. I learned Latin well enough to teach it, and my study guides earn me plaudits from young Latinists all over the world – when midterms and finals roll around.

The other students were mostly kids, but all of them were taking Latin as a course required by their majors, not because they wanted to read De Bello Gallico in the original. As a result, they discovered real studying for the first time in their lives. They had all just been shining it on, all along – class discussions and rambling essays and group projects – even in math classes! They found the wall in Latin class: If you can’t keep up, you will be left behind.

The teacher graded from A to J – and even an F was once worse than an E. The point she was getting across is that there is a lot to get wrong, and she was kind enough to point out everything. If you studied, you were fine, but you had to give the work as much time as it needed – every day – or you were instantly overwhelmed. The class went from 40 to 20 students in three weeks.

No one lives or dies on discriminations among semi-deponent verbs, but everything we rely on relies on people who know what they are doing. A middle-school in Minnesota proposes to eliminate the F grade – to combat the ‘systemic racism’ known as academic excellence – which notion deserves a grade lower than J.

I realized when I was a young scruffian in New York than the welfare system replicates the plantation system – “the second time as farce.” It is funny but not fun to watch people attempting to erect an aristocracy of the inept. But it won’t be funny at all when you tender you life into the Read more

Overnight News: Why spend a month prepping a house for sale? In order to sell it in 12 hours.

Ya think it's easy?

“People without dogs are lonely. Dogs without people are cold and wet – and lonely.”

So the house I’ve been rehabbing for the past month sold for $20,000 over list in around twelve hours. It’s a good time to list houses, to be sure, but fortune favors the prepared mind: I knew just what the house needed to attract the offers I wanted. We spent a lot to get there, but we made a lot more by doing the work than we would have by leaving it for the next guy.

The supply-chain crisis is real. We bought a new Arcadia door for this home, and getting the glass to the window-maker took three weeks. Some things you just can’t get around, but I’m more than usually jaundiced about glass, cabinets and countertops. Paint, flooring and blinds, on the other hand…

Cosmetic flips are easy for us, and effecting Diamond Jubilee upgrades on postwar tract homes – block and shingle, built to last – is an eminently doable business. Cathleen would love do The Dowdy Scottsdale – updating a dated luxury home – but I’m not that greedy.

But: I need to move to the other side of the table. Controlling the listing is everything now, and there is no better way to control the listing than to be on title. Here’s fun: If I do this, I may ditch the MLS and “list” on Zillow, as I do with rental listings. Buyer’s brokers take heed: Ain’t no way to go broke like no co-broke.

In other news:

Real Clear Policy: Democrats Want to Hand America’s Failed Public Housing an $80 Billion Slush Fund.

TownHall.com: Between Afghanistan and Immigration, Have We Ever Had a Less Competent President?

American Thinker: Faux Capitalism.

Jordan Davidson: Leftist School Boards Association Begs Biden To Use Domestic Terrorism Laws To Target Concerned Parents.

Overnight News: Dollar Tree can no longer promise that “everything’s a dollar!” – but it’s still where your dollar will go farther.

Ya think it's easy?

“You know what’s best about dollar-store dog toys? They only cost a dollar!”

I love dollar stores, but more than that, I love Dollar Tree. The biggest Dollar Tree on earth is just up 99th Avenue, and, accordingly, mine is the idolatry of Dollar Tree: Sex toys, dog toys and all manner of helpful doo-dads and storage solutions.

It could be I like dollar stores because other people scorn them, but anti-snobbery only gets you so far: What I really like are the values. Spurned as returns and seconds, in fact the dollar store is just an alternative distribution channel: Name-brand goods in dollar-store-specific form factors and packaging. Everything is new and first-quality, it’s all just smaller and flimsier.

There was to have been a Willie story set at Dollar Tree, but BidenFlation has killed the punch line: “You can’t make a mistake at the dollar store, because, after all, it’s only a dollar.”

The joke is on all of us, though, especially the dollar-store snobs: Economies like the one we’re headed for is when dollar-stores grow their market share. Dollar Tree can no longer promise that “everything’s a dollar!” – but when you need to make your dollars go farther, that’s where you’ll go.

In other news:

CNBC: Pending home sales surged more than expected in August after two months of declines.

Redfin.com: Housing Market Update: Asking Prices Up 12% to All-Time High.

American Thinker: The mother of real estate bubbles looms in China.

City Journal: The Menace of Moralism: Egalitarians seek the radical transformation of our society.

Overnight News: Why are you and your dog just about equally good at managing relationships? It’s because you’re doing it the same way.

Ya think it's easy?

“Puppies know who has treats. Dogs know how to befriend and not just bedevil.”

It is your thinking brain that languidly declines Latin nouns and categorizes and conjugates all those vigorous verbs. Whatever else it does, the thinking brain is an amazing database engine – the source of the information that makes informed discretion – free will – possible.

And yet: You as a human being can manage a truly sociable social network of only around 150 people – 15 or fewer you know and love as family, with the rest being those people about whom you can speak in loving detail of recent memories. As new close relationships are added, older, more-distant ones drop away, since 150 or so is all you mind can handle.

But consider: This is also true of your dog: He knows and trusts dozens of people – and other dogs – but it’s only family he treats as furniture. If you watch your dog interacting with people he knows, you will see graduated expectations based on past experience – for instance, who shares food while eating and who only afterward? That is: A database of memories of past interactions with particular people.

Evolution gave us the need for the thinking brain – too many freakishly difficult survival problems all at once – but the Greeks wrote the manual. But they – and we – are blinded by our own brilliance: We refuse to see what we had to have seen first, in order to have seen anything at all: All mammals are amazing adaptations with astounding brain power. They can’t connect dots, but they never, ever have their postulated ducks out of alignment.

It seems obvious to me that dogs and people manage personal relationships in about the same way because they are doing it with the same hardware: The mammal brain. Do recall, all other mammals are solving their own social problems without the thinking brain; unlike proto-humanity’s survival crises, the need pre-existed the hardware upgrade. This is very alien to the Greek way of thinking, where “dumb” animals are regarded as animate rocks, surprisingly variable deterministic Read more

Overnight News: What might we learn from the pandemic? There is no safe quantity of government.

Ya think it's easy?

“If you don’t hear the slice of ham when it hits the kitchen floor, you’ll smell it on the breath of the dog who did.”

More bad news for Fiasco Joe: The pandemic is over.

Norway and Japan are both waking up to the fact that lockdowns and hysteria have done more harm than good, and nation after nation will join them in learning to live with COVID unquarantined.

But Fiasco Joe needs a vaccine mandate – that he has no idea how to implement – and he claims that the restoration of America’s birthright freedoms depends on a 97%+ vaccination rate – where the status of being vaccinated is a moving target.

Good luck with that.

We won’t learn much from this experience, but we may learn enough: Compulsion is always toxic. There is no safe quantity of government.

In other news:

Housing Wire: Affordable housing vacancy drops, and rents are climbing.

CNBC: Home-flipping profits are shrinking, but here’s where you can net the most.

City Journal: The Linguistic Equivalent of War: Today’s progressives are heirs to a long tradition of abusing words to advance their policy goals.

City Journal: Denying the Crime Spike: A new report from Third Way downplays concerns about the rising tide of violence.

FEE.org: Extreme Hospital COVID Policies Are Leading More Pregnant Women To Choose A Home Birth.

Overnight News: What’s an even better joke than electric cars? Silent motorcycles!

Ya think it's easy?

“A silent hog is a toothless dog.”

John Hinderaker asks if electric cars are a joke, but I can think of something even funnier: Electric motorcycles.

Scooters, Vespas, mo-peds – battery up; no one cares, least of all fertile women. But the purpose of a motorcycle is to be showy and obnoxious – to be showy by being obnoxious. Remove the obnoxophone and you have removed the marketing appeal.

These are the purposes of a motorcycle in America:

  • To be obnoxious at start-up and shut-down, especially when everyone else is sleeping.
  • To be obnoxious at stoplights.
  • To be obnoxious in traffic.

In fact, this is all about Incandescent need – and the excessive displays necessary to catch the attention of preoccupied strangers ensconced in cars and enmired in traffic. But how are you going to distract them with your presence without the boom-boom-boom of that VRROOM-VRROOM-VRROOM?

Like NASCAR and the NFL, is the motorcycle business trying to replace its customer base? Seems equally wise to me: Hating the people who love you will not inspire the love of people who hate you. But, as with corporate weenies everywhere, there is an incandescent need even more important than VRROOM-VRROOM-VRROOM. Who cares if it kills the business?

In other news:

The Federalist: Of All The Third-World Cities I’ve Lived In, Baltimore Was The Worst.

WKBN.com: Vans operating as illegal Airbnbs in NYC impounded by NYC Sheriff’s Office.

Thomas Lifson: Schadenfreude to start the week: Biden and the Dems’ plans are collapsing.

Roger Kimball: How It Might End, Act I: It seems to be that we have alarm bells going off all around us. The oddity is that so few people seem to hear them.

Christopher Rufo: The White Backlash That Wasn’t: Opposition to critical race theory is broad and bipartisan.

Overnight News: How do you protect yourself from people who will kill you to keep you safe?

Ya think it's easy?

“Big brain and two hands, huh? Big deal. If I had two sets of jaws, you’d never win at tug-of-war, not ever again.”

Who was looking ahead? This is me in February of 2019:

Marketing genocide:
Stage 1: Tax-payer-funded abortions for all!
Stage 2: Now free in nursing homes, too!
Stage 3: Stay put. We deliver!

If the virus isn’t genocide, if the vaccine isn’t genocide, the hunger for genocide remains. I wish I were joking. Australia daily proves the wisdom of the Right to Keep and Bear Arms, but America is not yet that overt in its genocide: All we can do is pass laws permitting abortion until the baby is old enough to run away screaming – while sending cornucopias full of cornucopias, orchards of orchards, into combat.

Ci in power is always tyrannical, but when that power is challenged, pro forma niceties are dispensed with – and that’s when the bodies start to pile up.

The hyper-compliant have believed since they were toddlers that theirs is the only safe path to survival. As we are already seeing in Australia, Ci will vigilantly kill you – more in sorrow than in anger – to keep you safe.

In other news:

Bonchie: The Tyrannical Scenes out of Australia Grow Darker and More Disturbing.

American Greatness: Democrats Can’t Have It Both Ways on the ‘Great Replacement’.

Julie Kelly: Times Reveals FBI Role in January 6.

Overnight News: If you got beat by an iBuyer, you deserved it.

Ya think it's easy?

“Every new critter at the pet store is allegedly ‘the new dog’. Hold your breath. Dogs and honest brokers come home with dinner when everyone else goes home hungry.”

Linked below, there is apparently a TikTok video of a real estate agent accusing iBuyers of nefarious market brilliance. He’s in Nevada, where Florida goes to blow its reputation for probity, so that alone may explain his conclusions.

Mine are the opposite: The iBuyers are terrible marketers. They buy low from idiots, but they have cultivated a whole new garden of flippers who will pay more – and who have the iBuyers’ marketing to attract sellers. But to this day, the sell like REO agents – like intern REO agents: They do everything they can to leach the marketing value from their marketing efforts.

I’ve bitched about this before, in detail, but here’s a current example: OpenDoor has a listing on Coggins Drive in Sun City. A couple of months ago, a good gust of monsoon wind grabbed their yard sign and twisted the post 45 degrees in the ground. Yes: That much wind. Note also: Months ago. What’s fun is that the sign is still tilted that way. Nobody serviced the sign because nobody services the listings – the listings that sit on the market forever, just like any mis-marketed REO.

My take: If you got beat by an iBuyer, you suck and you belong in another business. They do, too, but there is no point in you racing them to bankruptcy.

In other news:

MarketWatch: Viral TikTok accuses Zillow and competitors of manipulating the housing market. Here’s what’s really going on.

Housing Wire: New home sales rise for second consecutive month.

City Journal: Ending Homelessness? No – just more of the same federal policy.

Michael Fumento: The Myth of ‘Long COVID.’ For all the twists and turns of the COVID-19 pandemic, perhaps none is stranger than so-called “Long Covid.”

Andrea Widburg: A look at the terrible plight of one of Biden’s political prisoners.

Townhall.com: New Report: More Americans Are Choosing Charter Schools Over Failing Government Schools.