On the Education of an 11 Year Old…

by Sean Purcell

Real Estate Renaissance Man

Author website

REWIND: Roughly one month ago, an 11 year old boy was in an altercation during recess. A classmate, known for his “unorthodox” playing style, decided to turn and throw a ball into his face from nearly point-blank range. This “unorthodox” classmate apparently thought it was very funny, and as the boy got up off the ground – hurt and embarrassed – the classmate continued laughing; so hard, in fact, that he fell down. The boy promptly kicked him in the ribs.

This being a public school and the classmate being not only a punk, but a crybabby too… an ambulance was called. The punk went to the hospital (nothing wrong), and returned the next day on crutches. (Why crutches? Because it’s hard to attract sympathy with a fake injury that no one can see…).  The boy was suspended for 5 days. No, not the punk who assaulted his classmate; the boy who responded.  You see, our public school system believes that only in the most extreme case of self-defense – one in which even the cowardly opportunity to run away is absent – will you not be punished for violence (and truth be told, it’s zero tolerance… so you’ll still be punished).  The punk received less days of suspension. Apparently, faking an injury relieves one of responsibility for one’s actions.  Upon returning to school, both boys were told in no uncertain terms to stay away from each other.  Thus far, a disappointing but not surprising trip through the education industry.

FAST FORWARD: Last week both boys find themselves in the same group.  The punk steals some candy from one in the group, and the boy – Mr. Five Day Suspension – elects to join in the chase. The punk falls down and the boy stands over him, one leg above his torso, in a universal sign of male dominance.  No one touched anyone.  Just then, two parents come around the corner and, based on what they are seeing, interpolate what must have happened previously.  This same 11 year old boy is reported to have, once again, kicked the punk.  The principal launches an “investigation” and commences to speak with “witnesses”.  (Too many CSI episodes? You be the judge…)  A few of the boys dispute the accusation, but she doesn’t talk to them.

The next morning, the Principal approaches the boy as he enters his classroom with this bit of educational enthusiasm: “You are in trouble young man; I have witnesses to what you did. You will be spending recesses in my office.”  Now, the boy does not handle false accusations well. (He doesn’t handle well being wrong and knowing it either, but that’s a different scenario).  His reaction? “Those stupid parents are lying!”  This insult to Principal decorum everywhere was too much; how dare an 11 year old boy stand up for himself?  The matter obviously required immediate escalation: “March to my office right now young man.”  The boy was now in full rebellion mode: he threw his backpack against the wall, yelled “No,” and stormed out of the classroom, the principal on his heels.  He was looking for a place to calm down (which he has been taught to do, not only by his parents, but by the Principal herself.)  He headed down to the lower field, to a quiet spot he calls his own behind some bushes (and, unfortunately, outside of “school grounds”). The principal, unable to force his compliance, calls Officer McFriendly… yes, that’s the local police officer assigned to be a liason to the elementary school.  And yes, things get worse.

The boy only needed a few minutes to calm down, and he’d come out. The principal and his father are talking to him.  The officer decides to go around to the other side and try to help.  The boy moves toward where the officer is heading, and the principal, along with the father, head back to the office to meet them both.  The officer pulls back up to the school, with the boy in handcuffs!  He has been arrested for truancy… but the officer is very reassuring: “Don’t be concerned,” she says with a smile, “because it’s not a criminal code violation or anything, it’s just an educational code violation.” (What the hell is an educational code violation?)

Once back in the Principal’s office, the officer attempts to take the boy’s statement!  Turns out she had read the 11 year old his Miranda rights upon arresting him, and felt quite comfortable asking him questions in the Principal’s office, given that the boy’s father was there.  Dad quickly ended the conversation, sent his son out of the office, and quietly explained to the officer – in the politest way he could, given the subject matter – why government, by very definition, is evil.  There was going to be no questions for the 11 year old.  The officer tried to explain how this was all nothing to be too concerned about; the state was simply going to have someone meet with the boy, discuss his transgressions, review his work, his behavior… his compliance, and make a small list of “suggestions”… a list, if you will, of things he must do to regain good lad status.  Once completed, they would toss the whole file out!  Honest!

So there it stands. Oh, and for making the eggregious error of interacting with the boy he was forbidden to be around, the boy was suspended… again.  Let’s total the damage: One overly-sensitive, innocent 11 year old boy: falsely accused, chased, arrested and suspended, FOR ANOTHER 5 DAYS- all before 9:00am.  Why? Because when the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail…  “Hey Little Guy… Welcome to the Revolution.”