It would be not-quite-correct to say that I don’t drink. I don’t object to casual drinking intellectually or philosophically, but it has never appealed to me. I will toast with Irish whiskey when appropriate, and I will sometimes have a beer with pizza-and-wings or Mexican food, but my absolute favorite beverage is dihydromonoxide, and alcoholic drinks of any sort are well down the list for me. De gustibus non est disputandum.
But I wanted to come up with something that I could stand to drink when I want to drink with Cathy on our date nights — at home, in town or in Las Vegas. So I invented my own cocktail, the top-secret recipe for which I will now share with you:
Thirty-Six Hours in Vegas
In a 24-ounce glass, pour over 8 ounces of ice:
One shot (or more) Tequila
One bottle of Lemon-Lime flavored Five-Hour Energy
12 ounces of Mountain Dew
Quite a bit sweeter than a Margarita, and very nicely caffeinated. That much liquid lasts me a long time, so I don’t notice the alcohol much, but I get all that good Mountain Dew stuff — hydration, sugar, sodium.
I’ll be in Anaheim for 36 hours later this week, but I doubt I’ll have one of these. If you make one for yourself, I’ll be interested to hear what you think about it.
Eric Blackwell says:
I don’t drink period, but I can tell you that all you will need for Anaheim is the Mt. Dew. Straight. 😉 See you there!
November 6, 2011 — 1:44 pm
Eric Blackwell says:
Ok…maybe the 5 hour energy as a chaser..hehe
November 6, 2011 — 1:45 pm
Greg Swann says:
With or without Tequila, the Mountain Dew takes away the yuck factor from Five Hour Energy. Moderates the caffeine intake, too. A virgin Vegas seems like an oxymoron, though.
November 6, 2011 — 5:05 pm
Don Reedy says:
“I don’t usually drink beer, my friends, but when I do, I drink in Anaheim.”
……The most interesting man in the Bloodhound world….
November 6, 2011 — 5:56 pm
Thomas Johnson says:
Stay thirsty, my friends.
November 6, 2011 — 8:57 pm
Al Lorenz says:
Loved the dihydromonoxide.
November 7, 2011 — 11:30 am
Greg Swann says:
> Loved the dihydromonoxide.
Arizona Ambrosia: Fill a pint glass to the top with dihydromonoxide in the solid form, crushed. Then fill it to the top again with dihydromonoxide in the liquid form. Consume in moderation to avoid the cold-stimulus-headache condition colloquially known as “brain freeze.”
Where you live, you can substitute dihydromonoxide in the crystallized form for the first step. For taste, that’s actually my favorite way to consume it, although the ambient conditions, unlike the Arizona low-desert, are not always conducive to ideal refreshment.
Many people who like to see themselves as being environmentally conscious have signed petitions calling for a ban on dihydromonoxide, but while it is still legal, plentiful and cheap, I plan to continue to consume it with wanton abandon.
November 7, 2011 — 12:30 pm
Karen says:
Margaritas are my go-to party drink… but I wouldn’t touch this with a ten foot pole.
November 9, 2011 — 11:49 am
Jim Wagoner says:
I tried this drink last night. I only needed one!
November 11, 2011 — 3:19 pm