A New Agent Guide to Getting the Listing… and Getting Over It

by Kris Berg

Realtor, Associate Broker

Author website

One of the best pieces of advise I was ever given came from my first Broker. She said that when you encounter disappointment or failure, you have 15 minutes to get over it. Cry, whine, feel sorry for yourself, but in 15 minutes you are going to put it all behind you. I have tried to adopt the 15-minute policy in life and in business, although sometimes my watch is admittedly running a little slow.

Contrary to the clearly posted warnings, objects in the rear view mirror are actually farther than they appear. What you did yesterday, last week, or last year is truly immaterial in real estate. Get mired in your past successes or your past failures and the engine will stall, preventing any future forward progress.

Allan Dalton, President of Realtor.com, was quoted as saying at this year’s CAR Tech Tuesday event (in reference to Zillow’s Zestimate concept):

One consequence is that consumers will be educated to infer that your home’s value can be predetermined. If my home’s value is predetermined, let me just find the person that I can pay the least to execute what’s preordained…

Now, here is the real deal from the trenches. You will certainly encounter the how-low-can-you-go sellers, but these are a minority, at least in the sense that fees alone will dictate their selection of an agent to represent them. We have talked at great length about the personal nature of the real estate transaction, and a seller’s choice of agent is the perhaps the most personal aspect. I don’t see any Zillow truly changing those personal dynamics.

If the decision were based solely on objective criteria, the same top-producing agent would get every listing every time, and new agents would never be able to develop business and enjoy success. We know this is not the case. The harsh reality is that the majority of sellers in a listing interview are not hearing what you say, but are seeing it – in your appearance, in your mannerisms and in your personality. During the interview, they are deciding not so much whether they like your message but whether they like you. And, unbelievable as it may seem, everyone is not going to like you or like me as much as we might care to believe otherwise.

When in a competitive situation, I think most agents will agree that we have a tendency to focus on our message and deliver it in a one-way fashion. The most difficult skill for the listing agent to acquire and hone is the ability to listen to and read the audience, and to turn on a dime when you see that you are singing the wrong song. Here is just a sample of the mistakes I have made in the past, some of which I was able to johnny-on-the-spot correct and others that I was unable to overcome:

• Being too young or too old. The seller has a preconceived notion about how you should look. To some, age will signify wisdom; to others, youth will convey innovation and enthusiasm.
• Being too perky or too staid. I have had as many people tell me they hired me because they liked my sense of humor and thought I would be fun to work with as I have had say they appreciated my serious professionalism. I have lost as many opportunities for these same reasons. Effectively reading this early and accurately is the challenge.
• Being too attractive or being too unattractive. Believe it or not, I can point to both. I have had situations where I sensed that the seller with the $1,500 designer handbag didn’t perceive enough “success” in my off-the-rack suit, and others where I suspect my appearance was considered too successful (or something else). People like to “hang” with people who they can relate to and who make them feel good about themselves.
• Giving a tech-heavy presentation to someone who doesn’t value technology. You may place great value in your 21st century approach to marketing, but if the seller doesn’t even have an email account (and, yes, there are still many of these), you need to be prepared to ignore the 90% of your presentation which speaks to your on-line savvy.
• One spouse liking you too much. This is much more of an issue for women, I would guess, but it can certainly go both ways. If Mr. Seller is enraptured with your presentation, enthusiastically welcoming your every utterance with affirmative head bobs, you are in trouble. It doesn’t matter who the decision maker is, Mrs. Seller HAS to like you. Period.

Having said this, there is a huge distinction between adapting and acting, which brings us back to the idea that not everyone is going to like you. I have a tendency to be too perky, even too flippant, but to be anything else would be an act, and my audience would know it. I can’t pretend to be you, and you can’t pretend to be me, so be true to yourself. It will either work or it won’t. In the end, however, you will find yourself for the most part working with people you can relate to, who you enjoy and respect, and who enjoy and respect you.

You might have guessed that in writing this I am having my 15 minutes. Much as I think I should be hired every time, I am not. In the interest of full-disclosure, I have been rejected in favor of both other seasoned agents and new agents of every flavor over the years. I am not entirely certain what my fatal flaw was in this particular circumstance (those are the most bitter pills), but I have a strong sense. I think I was dead in the first ten minutes and, in restrospect, it was probably unavoidable.

Time’s up. I’m over it.