We’ve all been there. We’ve done a deal or two with someone that leaves us invigorated happy and ready to do business again. We’ve also had one of those deals where everyone feels pissed off, beat up fried and angry. My mission in life is to identify–in advance– the 5% of my customers that cause 60% of the headaches.
Since forever, I’ve been tagging people with pejoratives du jour in ACT. The tagged? Folks that suck my soul dry, whose approbation would be an insult and whose company renders me insane. I probably have too low of a threshold for idiots, but they get “ID/STATUS= Black hole,” etc. This keeps me sane. I had 2 recent deals that were brutally bad. Not the normal bad, brutal. Life sucking wastes that I had multiple opportunities to abandon and failed to do so. Would have been better off watching my kid at the jungle gym…or smacking my toes with a ball-peen hammer. Both were files & projects I opened in December….and expected to finish in January. Both are still ‘ongoing,’ swimming in a sea of endless revisions.
Reminds me of the days when I was a Realtor® and I’d get investors (and also “investors,” fresh off a Mountain Dew fueled epiphany with Carlton Sheets) saying to me, “Hey, if you list my house for free, I’ll give you all this work in the future…but remember, I expect my flier box to be FULL at all times, ads to be running in the local paper version of part of the Internet, and more. Oh, by the way I’m a Strong Christian, have you made your decision for Christ?”
Yeah, those transactions were never any fun.
I went through my ACT! 6.0 database in conjunction with my move to Daylite CRM (highly recommended and imperfect, will review in a copula days on my own blog). I did a search on my PC for my pejoratives. In a database with 911 valid contacts–(1600 total, but most were web form people that never met me) only 41 were marked as a jerks/wasteoids/etc.
What do they all have in common? How are they jerks. Most of them marked my memory pretty intensely. This was from a 6.5 year Real Estate & Mortgage Career that begain in 2001 and ended in 2008. This is unspecific, and it probably varies from person to person and region to region. Still, it’s something that’s gonna be actionable somehow.
The Seven Qualities of Soul Sucking Deal Killers
If your prospect has more than a couple of these, seriously consider walking off. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, and yes, there
- They Promise To Pay You In “Willcomes” off the bat. “Do this cheap, and I’ll be loyal, you’ll get all my business.” Uh-huh. Just like I’ll respect you in the morning.
- They Beat You Over The Head With Their Cross: I’m all for the Nazarene. Grace is beauty incarnate. But–serious professing Christians use a reference from a Carpenter to do build trust and then smack you around.
- They Disappear for a week at a time, but hold you to high standards of followup. This was unique to investors and self employed people. Bottom line: people would disappear for a week or month, and suddenly want me to drop everything to show a house.
- They Brag About How Honest They Are: Yeah yeah. Similar to #2. People that have to brag aren’t honest. Their ego revises reality to make them the hero. That’s what we all do to an extent. But when you brag about honesty, I’ve never found someone that was the exception. You’re covering up something awful in your soul.
- They Dangle Pseudo Connections In Front of You “I have a lot of friends, and I’ll be happy to introduce you if this works out right.” Translation? “Hi, Mister Over, I’m Victor Hugo.” Not happening. People with connections simply refer, they don’t need to brag about what might happen. It’s a habit.
- Bragging about their net worth/liquidity. That doesn’t entitle you to be an asshole to others. The few high (5mm+) NW clients that I worked with…never told me that. Broadcasting that information is unnecessary for those that actually have it/do it. If you’re skinning cats, that’s all it is.
- They Drive an Old Jaguar. Seriously. Who besides a total tool drives an old (1995s or before) Jag. Nobody. Stupid car for stupid people. Everyone driving one of these things has their image so wrapped up in being “British,” they refuse to realize they are driving in a crappy deathtrap. (Of my hated 41, 4 had old Jags).
So, make a rule. When someone exhibits 2 qualities, short leash ’em. They’re gonna exhibit the entitlementality that is the Bloodhound’s bane. When someone exhibits 3+, especially the driving a Jag one? I know that I’m better off alone. I bail without a word, “Hey, my business is not going in your direction, best to ya.” What I wanna know: what qualities are red flags for you?
Karen Frederick says:
I found myself laughing and cringing while I read this… flashbacks of clients past. I also have a system for agents I meet that I would never give a referral to because they are rude, obnoxious, or still convinced the internet is a waste of time. They don’t even make it to my database-why bother? I just take out the ol sharpie and write on their card where I met them and what I didn’t like, then file it in the rolodex (it’s still good for something). I eliminated a few agents at a seminar in Chicago just this week. Life’s too short to let anyone “steal my joy”!
May 7, 2009 — 2:02 pm
Mike Stewart says:
I have a similar list for new prospects.
One I would add is a new prospect who says a variation of the following “I’m a serious buyer and I need to buy now”. These people ALWAYS flake out.
I find they’re much like those who brag about their supposedly high net worth. They’re pumping themselves up to make themselves feel better about what they’re not.
People who are guarded about their net worth and their real estate plans in the first 5 minutes of conversation, tend to turn into good normal clients.
The guy who tells you he has millions in the bank and/or is a serious buyer is putting on a front…
May 7, 2009 — 8:43 pm
Sean Purcell says:
1. Client: “I’m going to be honest and tell you up front that I’m looking for whomever can give me the best price.”
Me: “If you want to trust your financial future to whomever is the Kmart of service… I wish you good luck. And there’s the door.
2. Client “I used to be in the business so I know how it works.”
Me “If you weren’t in the business last week, you don’t know the business. I think you should do this yourself.”
May 7, 2009 — 11:09 pm
Joshua Hanoud says:
“Don’t worry about the pre-approval…I’ll get approved for a loan like THAT!” (as they snap their fingers at me)
I love that one.
May 8, 2009 — 12:56 pm
The Mortgage Cicerone says:
Chris – You are spot on. One of the biggest and clarifying moments in my career was when I fired a nightmare client and worked ONLY with my chosen niche clients (liking them was part of my niche requirement too). I went from funding 75 loans in a year to 412 within three years.
Great post!
May 9, 2009 — 10:33 pm