No, not that type of confessions, I’ve been happily married for 23 1/2 years and believe firmly in the “until death do us part” of my marriage vows.
But, after a conversation I had with Teri and after reading Sean’s post and the subsequent conversation in the comments by a number of people including a couple of friends who I respect and value their opinions, I felt I had a confession to make. Much of this confession is based on what I’ve learned from my wife.
So here goes the confession:
1. There is a LOT to worry about right now. Probably more to worry about now than any time in my adult life.
2. Listening to CNBC can increase the amount of worry that one has about the financial mess that’s happening.
3. There are a lot of people who make a living off of increasing the worry that other people have. Many of them work in the main stream media, but many of them work in Washington too.
4. While I agree with people like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh more than I disagree with them, I told Jeff Brown yesterday that I can’t listen to either one of them for very long. Why? The way that they play on the worry and discord over what’s happening in Washington is just too depressing.
5. While I have voted in every Presidential election I’ve been able to and all of the congressional elections (off years), I have missed a few school board and township elections. I firmly believe in the power of people to make a difference by voting, but I’m also very jaded by pretty much everyone who is in Washington and the state capitals as well.
So what did I learn from my wife? It’s pretty simple:
Don’t worry about things you can’t control.
I can’t control what happens in Washington – but I can learn and be informed about what’s happening so I can make wise decisions.
I can’t control what happens in the stock market – but I can learn and be informed so I can make knowledgeable decisions and help my clients and my referral sources make wise decisions.
I can’t control what happens to tax rates, but I can control how I structure my financial world.
I can’t control the ethics and morals of those who operate in Washington, but I can control the ethics, morals and integrity that run my life, my business and my writing.
I can’t control how much money the government spends on bailing out irresponsible behaviors, but I can control the financial decisions that I make and what I tell my clients and prospective clients.
I can’t control what happens to the unemployment rate in my home state (currently over 10% and climbiing higher on a daily basis) but I can control the advice and counsel that I give to people who are dealing with employment challenges.
I can’t control the way the media presents “the news” but I can attempt to interpret and explain the news in my writing so that people can accurately understand it.
Are there a lot of things that I can’t control in this world? Absolutely. Does it bother me? Some times. But I know that there is Someone who does control it all.
Am I saying that the entire Democrat/Republican/Progressive/Socialist discussion is a waste of time? Absolutely not. It was a fascinating discussion and I learned a lot and it helps me understand the different dimensions of the political/financial discussions and power shifts that are going on. That knowledge is power.
But, tomorrow morning, I’m going to get up, go to work and control what I can control. I’m going to talk and write about what I know and I’m going to help people navigate the financial mess we’re in. It isn’t always pretty and a lot of it is pretty disturbing, but one of the things I control is how I react and deal with it.
So what can you control and what are you going to do tomorrow?
Tom Vanderwell
Mark Madsen says:
The only thing that I can control in life is my attitude.
March 3, 2009 — 8:57 pm
Missy Caulk says:
No Tom, we can’t control it but we have to stand up and fight it and speak out against it.
Social media, blogs and other online venue’s help get the word out about the path we are on.
Nope can’t control the market but we have to work in it so we rise up every morning and do our jobs.
March 3, 2009 — 9:37 pm
Sean Purcell says:
Amen Tom.
Efforts, ours to give and keep; outcomes though, no man may reap.
Amen to Missy too! “Do not go quiet into that good night…”
March 3, 2009 — 10:46 pm
Tom Vanderwell says:
Mark – I’d disagree with you. We can control our own attitudes and we can also control how we act and what we choose to fight against. My point is that I can make a LOT bigger difference if I choose to fight against the issues that I can make a difference on. Realistically, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi aren’t going to listen to me if I called them. But I can talk to people locally and at places like this and help them understand and prepare for what’s happening.
So, it’s not just attitudes, though that’s a lot of it, it’s also picking your battles to know which ones you can make a difference on.
Does that make sense?
Tom
March 4, 2009 — 7:08 am
Tom Vanderwell says:
Missy,
I couldn’t agree more. The reason that I write on here, the reason that I spend virtually every night banging away on the keyboard here and on Straight Talk and elsewhere is exactly that.
People need to know what’s going on and the effects it’s going to have. The majority of the country doesn’t have a clue and unless we spread the word, they won’t know what hit them.
But it makes more sense to do that in venues where you can make a difference, like here and on our own personal blogs. A friend of mine likes to say, “Use a sniper rifle, not a shotgun.” Focus on the areas where you can influence and can control and can help and then fight for all you’re worth.
Does that make sense?
Tom
March 4, 2009 — 7:14 am
Mark Madsen says:
Tom, it sounds like you agree, not disagree with me? You just added a little more than I did.
I choose to fight where I can make a difference, and sometimes I choose to fight on faith or principle knowing that I won’t be heard.
However, like you stated, we can have a significant impact staying up late banging on these keyboards and expanding our online voice and influence. The networking that we do on these blogs will make us powerful enough as a group to take on some challenges that we couldn’t normally do as individuals.
March 4, 2009 — 7:21 am
Tom Vanderwell says:
Mark,
I do agree with you – but you need to take it further than just attitude.
I’m a fighter for the things I believe in and you’re absolutely right, helping educate others about what’s going on will be good for everyone.
My point was that we need to fight for what we believe in and work within the areas that we can make a difference. Worrying about things we can’t impact is useless, fighting for the things you believe in and can impact are crucial.
Tom
March 4, 2009 — 7:33 am
Jennifer K Giraldi says:
Very true Tom. A wise man told me years ago to never worry about things that are out of your control. The rule is and always should be, unless you can do something about it this second, it’s not worth worrying about. This is a good reality check post that we have been needing to read. Thanks for reminding us about this important lesson in these tough ecomomic times.
March 4, 2009 — 7:40 am
Mark Madsen says:
Tom, how would you define control?
I’m a loan officer in Las Vegas, so I’ve had to learn a little about what is and isn’t in my control over the past couple of years.
“I do agree with you – but you need to take it further than just attitude.”
While “controlling my attitude” may seem like an easy answer, it is sometime the most challenging thing that I have to fight every day.
But, we’re just throwing rhetoric back and forth now. You had a great article, and I support you. My original response was mainly just to throw in my 2cents, I wasn’t really trying to start a discussion about how we measure control.
Gotta run to the office, hope you have a successful day.
mm
March 4, 2009 — 8:04 am
Dave Shafer says:
Well said Tom!
March 4, 2009 — 8:19 am
Daphne Lacey says:
Tom…I totally agree with you.
March 4, 2009 — 9:25 pm
Doug Quance says:
We might not have DIRECT control over many of the items on your list – but we do have INDIRECT control.
Becoming informed is very important – and sharing that information that affects you with others is your contribution to CHANGE.
In that respect, you ARE helping to change what you believe you can not control.
March 5, 2009 — 6:28 am
Bernie Germani says:
I can’t control mortgage rates, life’s challenges, or my wife wondering when I’m going to close another loan (we need to eat this month…J/K I’m very blessed)!!!!
To be honest I don’t want to even try and control these things, as it is above my realm of possibilities, but what I can control is my ethics, attitude, and my drive to make a difference in people’s life everyday (even if I have roadblocks for my day) which there will always be roadblocks, so I have learned to go around the roadblock or even go over it. I choose to keep moving, and not let that roadblock slow me down; it is a mind shift that’s all.
March 5, 2009 — 1:56 pm
Paul Francis says:
Throw in some Glenn Beck, Peter Schiff and Gerald Celente if you want to feel really good about what is going on.. :0
March 6, 2009 — 3:23 am
Scott G says:
Good post……I live in Canada and when people here watch CNN they think the world is coming to an end! The media makes a mint off of the doom and gloom stories that they run and I think enough is enough. I have written letters to the editor of our local paper and we were fortunate enough to have our local TV station do a positive story about our local housing market. Hopefully this will all be over soon!
March 7, 2009 — 10:18 am