Keith at Housing Panic is for sale . . .

by Greg Swann

Suburban Phoenix Real Estate Broker

Author website

Who didn’t know?

Here is Keith from Housing Panic volunteering to “go easy on me”, to “pull his punches” — essentially to “take a dive”.

Why? Because he can’t bear up to the ridicule his ridiculous behavior incites.

Responding to this post, days late, Keith sent me this email (click here for full source — provided to prevent the wanker from trying to deny it):

From: housingpanic@yahoo.com
Subject: your choice
Date: November 25, 2006 11:18:34 AM MST
To: GregSwann@BloodhoundRealty.com

I’ll give you a choice.

1) A war with the thousands of HP’ers so harsh and loud your practice and reputation in Arizona likely wouldn’t survive (beyond the damage you’re doing yourself)

2) A truce

Here’s your post that is way beyond the pale, and made you look like some unprofessional weirdo. I’d suggest this be pulled by the weekend.

Your choice

Keith

Here is the specific language Keith is objecting to:

Finally, it might be nice if everyone would chip in to buy Keith at Housing Panic some lubricant. The poor sod has been Masturbating to Armageddon for months now, to no discernible result. It’s gotta chafe…

Here is a post, one of hundreds, in which you can witness Keith Masturbating to Armageddon.

It’s easy to make jokes about him, because the man is such an outsized fool, but, in fact, he is completely beyond parody. I used to think he might be dangerous, not so much anymore. Months ago, someone asked me to write a few words about him, and this is what I came up with:

We speak of trolls casually, but the Norse idea of the troll is a much more serious thing. A troll seeks chaos, another fine word ruined by overuse. I wrote once that a troll is “a spark of hell’s fire seeking ready tinder on the earth.”

This is what Keith is, a true troll. He has the gift of finding the evil bone in men with no will to evil. He tickles it until they become their worst possible selves.

The only true capital is human capital, which is not just mental but also moral power — not just the skill but also the will to do one’s best. Keith induces lazy but decent men to do their worst — or at least fantasize about doing their worst.

He is small and pitiable troll — there have been much worse — but this is what he is. The only question I might have for him is when he will grace the earth by leaving it.

I can write a soaring praise when I am in the right frame of mind, but eviscerating criticism rolls off me like dew off a blade of grass. I think this is the best post I ever wrote about Keith and his Flying Monkeys (a joke I had to write for him):

If these men saw more value in pursuing their own affirmative values, and less in campaigning for and rejoicing in the suffering of others, each one of them — and everyone else — would be better off.

So: Take careful note, BubbleHeads. Keith at Housing Panic is for sale. The king of wild charges and fractured insults can’t take what he strives, unintelligibly, to dish out. He’d rather strike a private deal with me than have the truth of his character made public.

Well, under the circumstances, who could blame him? Would you want to live in that skin — without brains, heart, guts or a spine?

Bring it on, Keith. I’m having a great year, and you haven’t laid a glove on me yet. I’ve never pulled a post and I never will. I’ve never failed to tell the perfect truth about you — and I never will.

It’s probably bad strategy on your part to show your “followers” that you are for sale — but they’ve all known it all along anyway. They’re much better men than you are, in the main, so it’s a good chance they’ll learn something from this experience. If not, it comes to nothing — much as you will come to nothing.

Where shall I ship the lubricant…?

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