I attended a Christmas dinner party earlier this week. It followed the script of most such dinner parties, which is to say: it was remarkable – the same way almost all social gatherings turn out to be remarkable. They start slow: a few people in various corners of the living room, their conversations hushed and directed at the same person who accompanied them through the door not ten minutes earlier. Then the wine is opened, some appetizers are laid out and enough people show up that a tipping point occurs. As if by design the conversation hubs begin to move, some groups grow in size while others diminish, strangers are pulled in and couples become less dependent upon each other. Eventually, the dinner is served and new friends engage in cross conversations around the table. It is a predictable, if not awkward transformation leading to a unique treasure each and every time.
This party was no different. I sat down on the couch and was soon engaged in a wonderful conversation. Forced to guess her age I would say sixty, but she could have been seventy and she could have been fifty. She was well traveled and she was observant. It was easy to sense a certain wisdom in her person and I was fascinated. She had recently returned from a trip to Europe and exuded a confident happiness that intrigued me. “What’s the secret?” I asked. She looked at me for a moment, trying to gauge whether I would understand her answer I supposed, then replied, “I iron my clothes now.” She could see in my face that I was confused and I could see in hers that she had gauged correctly. “Over in Europe, people still care,” and she went on to explain how Europeans were more considered in the clothes they wore and how they looked. This appealed to her in comparison with the casualness prevalent in America. So… now she irons her clothes every morning. It requires a little extra time and a little extra effort but it makes her day special.
I thought about that conversation all the way home. She had chosen a small habit, applied it consistently, and changed her entire day. The truth in that statement is universal. We can effect tremendous changes by simply applying a new habit consistently. What do you do for a living? Would you like to be more successful doing it? Choose one action – one simple activity – and commit to doing it EVERY DAY. That’s it really. You do not need a complicated plan with multiple marketing objectives and the latest, most expensive, high-tech shiny object. You only need to execute one well chosen action every day. You could call ten people from your data base for referrals, you could add three new people to your contact list, you could even leave the office and get belly to belly with at least one person; just make sure you are creating a habit that directly leads to business.
Aristotle said “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” My new friend from the party said “Iron your clothes every day.” What do you say?
Jeff Brown says:
Sean — I’m not totally sure why your stuff speaks to me as often has it does. This one especially so, as it reminded me of much the same conversation I had literally 40 years ago.
It was about habits, and well, what you so quickly and elegantly explained today, through what I’ve come to call a Seanism — ironing.
The conversation was long and far too substantive for a 17 year old high school senior, but it profoundly affected my thinking forever more. I was challenged to put the axiom of habits, what we do consistently, etc., to the test. The test?
Way too simple, but it turned out to be enlightening. I was, for the next 21 days, to put my shoes and socks on in reverse order of what I’d done since I’d been doin’ it myself. Also, I had to tie the shoes in a different way than usual. That one little change screwed me up like you wouldn’t believe. I couldn’t fathom how difficult it was to keep it going. Due to gym class I had to do it twice daily. This helped.
By the beginning of the third week I was almost doing it without thinking. By the start of the fourth week, it’s how I put on my shoes and socks and tied my shoes.
What you’ve written today is nothing short of a belated Christmas gift. It reminded me of how much ‘what we do consistently’ matters in the big picture of our lives. You’ve also reminded us that the key to much of our success in life involves the word ‘do’.
Thank you.
December 26, 2008 — 11:20 am
Sean Purcell says:
Jeff,
Thank you. Your story is a tremendous, real life example of the power of habits. I wonder, what order do you follow now?
It is always interesting to see who relates to the stuff I write. So often we are preaching to the choir. When I write about inspiration, people who are already successful because they are inspired will comment. When I write about passion, people who are already successful because they follow their passion will comment. And when I write about creating success by doing the right things right, it is you who always comments. You, Jeff, are a paragon of skinnin’ cats, pure and simple. Leave the talking to someone else and make sure every day you do something that leads directly to creating business. I’m learning from you still…
December 26, 2008 — 11:58 am
Jeff Brown says:
Since 1969 I put on my shoes/socks right/left, right/left. I tie wrapping left bow first, then pulling right side through.
The process almost had the back of my brain crashing into the front of my skull. 🙂
Now if I could just say things as quickly as you do, life would be perfect. 🙂
December 26, 2008 — 12:12 pm
Teri L says:
>You only need to execute one well chosen action every day.
I heart you Sean Purcell. 😀
December 26, 2008 — 2:04 pm
Sean Purcell says:
I heart you Sean Purcell
A Christmas present I truly cherish. Thank you Teri.
December 26, 2008 — 3:29 pm
Tom Vanderwell says:
As I’m getting caught up on some reading, I’m sitting here agreeing with everything you guys are saying and I’m thinking….
Sean
Jeff
Teri
Now that’s a powerful combination!
Keep up the good work. You guys rock!
Tom
December 26, 2008 — 11:31 pm
Gesetzliche Rentenversicherung says:
I like your story. It shows the importance and the bad cause of habits. And I agree that changing a little habits do not means you change your whole personality.
December 27, 2008 — 6:59 am
Tony says:
I used to iron a fresh shirt every day – the effort is worthwhile but after a few years it does become tedious. I have tried a number of non iron shirts but it’s not the same. Yep I know that the point being made is that a small change in habits can have a beneficial effect, just depends what habit you choose to adopt.
December 27, 2008 — 11:43 am