There’s always something to howl about.

The deathless prose of the Bloodhounds: Against advice of broker

This is a form I wrote for a house that Cathleen may or may not have in play. The details have been fictionalized, but the underlying situation — a house trashed so badly that it becomes a menace to safety — will probably only become more common.

Caveat lector: I am an Arizona real estate broker, empowered by our state’s constitution to prepare documents incident to the transfer of real property. Your local laws will be different.

BUYER IS PURCHASING REAL PROPERTY AGAINST ADVICE OF BUYER’S BROKER

Buyer’s Broker herewith explicitly advises Buyer against the purchase of 123 Mulberry Street, Hadleysburg, AZ.

1. Buyer is aware that property has been looted by a previous owner, tenant, burglar, interloper or tenant-at-sufferance.

2. Buyer is aware that all kitchen appliances, fixtures, counters, cabinets, shelving and appurtenant items have been removed from the property.

3. Buyer is aware that the truss-mounted air-handler has been removed from the property.

4. Buyer is aware that the extent of any additional looting is undetermined and is substantially indeterminable.

5. Buyer is aware that attempts to repair or refurbish this property could result in further damage to the property and/or injury or loss of life to Buyer or Buyer’s contractors or employees.

6. Buyer is aware that repairing or refurbishing a property in this condition is a task that should be undertaken only by experienced building contractors.

7. Buyer is aware that additional damages resulting from attempts to repair or refurbish this property could destroy any or all residual marketable value in the property, with such loss in value being Buyer’s sole responsibility and liability.

8. Buyer is aware that injuries or deaths resulting from attempts to repair or refurbish this property could be construed by courts or insurance companies to be Buyer’s sole responsibility and liability.

9. Buyer is aware that many other residential properties, substantially in turn-key condition, are available nearby at reasonable prices.

10. Buyer has been advised numerous times of Buyer’s Broker objections to this purchase.

ERGO, BUYER ACKNOWLEDGES BY HIS SIGNATURE HEREUNDER THAT BUYER IS PROCEEDING WITH THIS PURCHASE AGAINST THE PROFESSIONAL ADVICE AND JUDGMENT OF BUYER’S BROKER, EXPRESSED REPEATEDLY AND STRENUOUSLY.

Buyer agrees to release, indemnify and hold harmless Buyer’s Broker for any and all losses, damages, injuries, deaths or liabilities of any nature resulting from this purchase.

This instrument is an Addendum to the Buyer-Broker Agreement executed between Buyer and Buyer’s Broker on December 1, 2008, and is incorporated therein as additional terms and conditions of that Buyer-Broker Agreement by this reference and by the mutual consent of Buyer and Buyer’s Broker.

We’ve done these kinds of things before — never this radically — and the purpose is to get the party to come to Jesus: “Well, if you feel that strongly about it, let’s go ahead and have the inspection.” But for issues this large — at prices this low — I’m not sure this language is scary enough…

Technorati Tags: , , , , ,