There’s always something to howl about.

Attention Realtor association wannabe geeks: All monopolies suck by definition, so you must open up our forms to multiple vendors

I wrote a couple of times yesterday about using the iPhone as the laptop killer for real estate transactions. If my guesses about cloud computing play out, the iPhone and subsequent hand-held computers have the potential to replace our desktop machines as well — or at least give us every bit of the power we expect from a desktop machine no matter where we happen to be. This is all for real, a brand new world unfolding before our eyes.

What is not new, alas, are the monopolies of morons imposed upon us by the National Association of Realtors and all of its many tentacular sub-cartels. Where everything in business is about to change radically — in response to the iPhone, to Web 3.0, to the unforeseeable efficiencies of the cloud — everything in our business will change at its usual glacial pace — driven not by the pursuit of profit, not by the thrill of innovation, not by the ever-more-vast oceans of information available to us — driven only by the need of the NAR and its cabal of sleazy vendors to hold Realtors hostage.

In late May I bitched about the vast hordes of bugs that infest Zipforms, but I knew going in that this was a Sysiphean effort. The people who impose these awful products on us are not the ones stuck using them. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if there are off-budget contributions — subsidies for Realtor association parties, for example — written into the contracts, which simply introduces bribery into what is already a capricious decision-making process. Caprice, it is worthwhile to stress, is the opposite of reason.

Tom Farley, the new CEO of the Arizona Association of Realtors actually called me in response to that post, but I could not manage to convey to him the importance of multiple, competing vendors to a free — or even quasi-free — market. What he told me is that, instead of Zipforms, in the future we will be inflicted with a different hopelessly buggy Windows-only piece of crap software. I know the man was in deep earnest, and I know that he thinks what he is doing is the best he can do, and I am beyond dismayed that, seemingly no one in the vast NAR cartel can understand that SOCIALISM DOES NOT WORK!

It’s plausible to me that the NAR’s own origins in the parlor-pink progressive era blind it to its own pernicious anti-capitalism, but who is it who cannot understand that the products of the Peoples’ Glorious Revolutionary Tire Company would not be your first choice even if they were your only choice. People do not work to earn your business if they cannot lose it. This is obvious to everyone when they are shopping with their own money. How is that no one at the Arizona Association of Realtors can understand that, first, I would much rather shop with my own money, and that, if this is to be forbidden by fiat — by a conscious betrayal of my true interests — that different people can only satisfy their differing objectives by having access to multiple, competing products? A monopoly vendor might kiss ass well, and it might kick in some juicy bribes dressed up as perks, but no monopoly vendor is going to work to earn my business. I’m not the client, the AAR is, and, whatever it is they are buying, it SUCKS for my needs.

Lately the RE.net has become infested with NAR types — vast hordes of them, it would seem, from Virginia. Our own Dave Phillips seems like the kind of guy with brains enough to pour bourbon on his Cheerios if the milk’s gone sour, but the rest of them do nothing for me but raise the hair on the back of my neck. Are they fifth columnists? Recruiting agents for The Borg that is the NAR. What they mainly seem to do is go around lecturing everyone else on how nice they are. To the nice niche are they completely welcome. Nice is the means by which the NAR sustains its cartel against half-assed rebels. Nice is the formless pit of tapioca in which it drowns everyone who comes too near it.

Here’s my take: If you won’t do the right thing without having your ass kissed, you know nothing about right and wrong. But on the off chance that Tom Farley and the Realtor association wannabe geeks actually do want to do the right thing — at least in this pitiably-limited context — here it is:

GET THE HELL OUT OF OUR WAY!

You are not software companies, and you do not have the ability to select software for anyone but yourselves. No one can select another workman’s tools, so your monopoly vendor strategy is a failure ab initio. But even ignoring that, you cannot choose software that you yourselves do not use every day. Even if you actually do use it, your choice is assured to be satisfactory to you and you alone. Moreover, your monopoly vendors understand perfectly that they do not have to earn my business, and they may have good cause to believe that what matters most to Realtor associations is not product quality but superficially-legal bribery. On top of all that, we know from 10,000 years of capitalism that entrepreneurs work best when there are profits to be made and losses to be avoided as a consequence of having worked well.

This is all completely obvious, so how about some real change instead of just more Realtor association jawbone? Here is all you need to do: Make the forms available to multiple, competing vendors. In other words, no more monopoly contracts. I would be amazed if you knew this, but PDF tools are written into PHP and other web-based software development environments, so, if it were possible to compete for the business, there could be web-based contracts software for the iPhone and other mobile devices in mere weeks.

My bottom line — for the NAR and everyone associated with it: I don’t believe anything will change. I can write sneakaround solutions for myself, just as I already do with the pestilential MLS system. Everybody else is stuck. But the internet is the Greek Agora made manifest for everyone at last. Your idiot Socialist cartel is doomed in the long run anyway. By standing between Realtors and the way we make our living, you will substantially hasten the arrival of the long run. Sic semper tyrannosauris — thus, always, to dinosaurs.

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