Success is Knowing Who Your Friend Is

by Sean Purcell

Real Estate Renaissance Man

Author website

Back on Monday, Jeff Brown wrote a post explaining in no uncertain terms why some real estate agents are failing.  If you have not read that post yet you need to take a long look in the mirror, get your priorities straight, stop reading this post and go back to Jeff’s.  Once you are done reading take another long look in the mirror and come on back.  Yesterday Brian Brady wrote a post with no less than sixteen links on marketing as religion.  If you are going to reference religion in marketing you had better use a minimum of ten links, so Brian is safe.  If you have not read his post: Marketing is Religion you need to take a knee for a moment, get your priorities straight, stop reading this post and go back to Brian’s.  Once you are done reading take a knee again, meditate or pray about your philosophy of marketing, then come on back.  Go ahead, I will wait right here…

My two cents’ worth on creating leads has more of an athletic angle; if you don’t know me you might find this interesting. (If you do know me you are probably quite sick of the ‘sport as life’ analogy, to which I say: tough!)  Two years ago I began racing Ironman triathlons (I use the term racing lightly here).  If you are not sure what an Ironman entails, I will be glad to tell you.  You start your day by jumping in the water with a little over two thousand other competitors for a quick 2.4 mile swim.  This warms you up sufficiently for the 112 mile bike ride that follows and we cap the whole thing off by running a marathon.  The cut off time for finishing is 17 hours and believe me, that doesn’t sound like much as the day progresses.  So besides bragging, you ask, what does sharing this have to do with marketing for leads in real estate and mortgages?  Plenty.

By the time I start the marathon portion of an Ironman, I am not alone.  I have a little buddy that shows up occasionally and runs along with me.  I heard a coach introduce this little guy once, telling me that “somewhere along the run, your friend is going to show up and you will get to know him very well.”  He was right.  When things become tough we all have a friend that shows up.  He starts out real nice; telling us to slow down and not risk injury.  Later he might point out the cramp we are feeling or the stitch in our side.  As the day draws on he becomes more persistent and a lot more persuasive: “Maybe you should stop for a while and walk, you don’t want to hurt yourself.” Or: “Look, why keep going? You have already proven yourself.”  Plus my favorite: “Is this really all worth it?  Most people would not have even made it this far.”  You see, this friend that we have; that each and every one of us gets to meet if we push ourselves, is the voice inside that revels in your doubts and your failures and your fears.

Real estate, mortgages, sales in general; these are all endurance events.  The race takes years and success is poorly defined.  Is it a monetary goal, like crossing the line in a specific time?  Is it a sense of accomplishment, like merely finishing the race?  Is it the health and happiness that comes from the effort and day to day practice?  That answer is unique to all of us.  But no matter how you define success for your career – your race – you must first realize that it is not a sprint.  This is an endurance event and you are goint to meet your friend along the way.  I guarantee it.  You must learn to recognize him when he shows up.  Practice your responses to the questions and suggestions he makes.  Train yourself to keep going despite your friends’ best intentions and most diabolical internal dialogues.  There are no pat responses and no easy fixes.  Gathering leads goes on in the face of a great deal of rejection.  It goes on when you feel like it and when you don’t.  Your response to your friend will be different from mine and may even be different each time you meet him.  But you must have a response.  The key, the most important idea I can share, is this: The power of fear flees from the light of awareness.  Get to know your friend and recognize him when he shows up.  Keep moving forward with your plan and know that the only wrong answer is to quit.  Sooner or later, you will hit a point and you will realize that your friend dropped out.  He has not been around for a while and will not be coming back this race.  He will be back again; the next time you start a new marketing plan or go prospecting for new leads; the next time you toe the line at the beginning of an Ironman.  He will be waiting there.  But you will be that much stronger for having dropped him this time.

Post Script 
In my first Ironman I can tell you exactly where I dropped my friend.  There were inspirational thoughts placed at some of the mile markers in the run.  At mile 20 I was really hurting.  I needed something.  I stopped to read the inspiration written there.  It was dark and night had fallen so I really had to get close.  After reading the words, I wiped a little tear from my eye and I started on again with a sudden feeling of confidence.  I knew I had dropped my friend right there at that sign.  The craziest part though, is that I was not thinking about my own race after I read it.  I was not thinking about myself at all when I dropped my friend… and maybe that is how it works.  Instead, I was thinking about all the agents I knew back home who were struggling with the market changes and trying to shift gears in the middle of their long, long endurance event.  The sign said: Tough times never last, but tough people do.