Here’s a hot button for real estate agents and mortgage brokers. You’ll recognize this immediately. Your’re dealing with a problem, searching for a solution with a service provider or a vendor. The person on the other end of the phone says something which clearly and expertly outlines the solution that isn’t a solution. In fact it’s so not the solution, you begin wondering if you’ve missed something. It’s at that precise moment your mind conjures up a vivid picture of the Captain Obvious who just offered this Solomonic pearl of wisdom bursting into flames.
What possesses people to list all the ways something can’t be done? Not being a graduate of PCU (Politically Correct University), I apologize in advance for the following. My intention is not to hurt feelings, but to understand. No really — stop giggling.
In all my years in the real estate business I’ve only used a handful of escrow officers, title companies, lenders, etc. What they share is the ability to look for ways to get things done, instead of replaying the video, looped to the scene explaining how it absolutely can’t be accomplished. Why do people in service industries do this? More to the point — why are they kept on the job after their bosses figure this out?
Here’s an example. I Pinky-Swear this is true. (Brian Brady will back me up.) In fact you’ll know it’s true as nobody would make up something so clearly stolen from the classic Abbot and Costello routine, Who’s On First.
I’m hoping Brian Brady posts on this, as he was the initial mortgage guy victimized by the appraiser’s laziness and incompetence. Countless times I was amazed Brian didn’t resort to asking the appraiser if he was stoopid. Looking back, it was probably ‘cuz he wasn’t sure the guy would understand the question.
A couple clients contracted to buy multiple investment properties in Texas. We began the loan process which of course necessitated appraisals. Apparently the appraiser made a mistake by checking the box stating the subject property was part of a P.U.D. — Planned Unit Development. Bottom line, this meant no lender was gonna lend ‘cuz it didn’t meet clearly defined PUD requirements set out by the secondary market.
It’s a simple human error, so just correct it, right? Nnooooo. Here comes the Who’s On First part. Again — Not Making This Up.
Here’s the Cliff’s Notes version.
The appraiser dug his heels in, insisting that solely because the development included a Home Owner’s Association it was, by default mind you, a PUD. Huh? What? He wouldn’t budge.
Wouldn’t budge?
Not after — The Builder — Developer — Title Company — and, wait for it, here it comes — The City Attorney for Heaven’s sake — all said it was not a PUD, never was, never would be. I’ve wondered since, if the developer thought he was being
There were multiple lenders involved who began suspecting there was some form of fraud going on. Why are these folks trying to slip a PUD by us as something else? That appraiser was inches from receiving a phone call from the FANNIE MAE version of CSI.
Finally, when one of the lenders (by now totally convinced it wasn’t a PUD) explained this to him, he relented and issued a letter stating maybe indeed it wasn’t a PUD.
This appraiser has now lost my business, the mortgage broker’s business, the builder’s business and respect, and might find his company informally barred from being used by the lenders who witnessed his bizarre behavior. All because he was more interested in protecting his perfect record which of course was only perfect in the parallel universe in which he lived.
The Point
So many transactions are delayed or lost altogether because someone needed to be right, when becoming part of the solution was what should’ve been there highest priority. That builder will sell about 100-200 properties this year and all but a few will need an appraisal done.
Guess who won’t be getting those calls?
As I said, you can’t make this stuff up, ‘cuz nobody would believe you.
Brian Brady says:
Ugh…don’t get me started
May 14, 2008 — 3:42 pm
Doug Quance says:
It’s usually the other agent who has to be right…
😆
May 14, 2008 — 4:33 pm
Mike Farmer says:
Man, that kills me. I’m working with an agent on a deal now who’s driving me up the freaking wall with anal retentiveness. You couldn’t drive a ten penny nail up her butt with a sledge hammer.
May 14, 2008 — 6:16 pm
Jeff Brown says:
Mike — It’s those types who provide welcome entertainment. Once they learn you’ll remain maddeningly calm while they’re about to erupt, panic begins to set in.
They do what they do, that is, make drama where none need exist, because it works for them. Your personality must really make ’em nuts. 🙂
May 14, 2008 — 6:50 pm
Michelle DeRepentigny says:
What makes reading this hilarious for me, is that as an appraiser, I keep running into underwriters who state that a property IS a PUD just because there is a HOA fee!
Last week, I had an closing attorney who called me and asked “Why won’t you just check the box and let it close?”. UUUMMM, because it is not and you know it is not?
Anytime there is a party to the transaction who fails know how to perform their job and refuses to be educated, a trainwreck occurs!
May 14, 2008 — 7:21 pm
Jeff Brown says:
Michelle — You’re quoting nearly verbatim what this appraiser said. Never mind there are hundreds of developments around the country with HOAs not even close to being PUDs.
And just like the attorney in your story did, we were also encouraged to commit a felony just to move things along. One lender said they’d actually closed deals with the box incorrectly checked, but that was before all the you-know-what began hitting the lender fan a little while back.
What really irritated the appraiser was when we kept bringing up empirical, documented evidence of his lack of work ethic, and gross incompetence. Go figure.
May 14, 2008 — 7:31 pm
Tom Vanderwell says:
Jeff,
Very well said. You can’t make this stuff up because no one would believe it. But it’s true. I sit in closings and have to correct the closers from the title company because what they are saying when they explain documents is only about 175 degrees the opposit direction from the truth.
Tom
May 14, 2008 — 7:48 pm
Jeff Brown says:
Tom — Sometimes when you hear what they’re saying, you slowly begin to check for cameras. Maybe you’re being punk’d on TV. 🙂
May 14, 2008 — 8:34 pm
Sean Purcell says:
Jeff,
All because he was more interested in protecting his perfect record
Reminds me of some relationship advice my dad gave me years ago: You can be right… or you can be married.”
May 14, 2008 — 9:35 pm
Jeff Brown says:
Reminds me of something similar Dad said to me after I’d been married for about a year or so. I’d been complaining about being right, but to no avail. He looked at me and said, “Didn’t I explain marriage to you awhile back?”
May 14, 2008 — 9:40 pm
Brian Brady says:
Ugh
May 15, 2008 — 6:32 pm
Apella says:
Jeff,
I wish I could have been able to help you with the P.U.D. issue as I run in to it offten. The P.U.D. thing can be a “state by state” or “city by city” common or fluke so I can respect what you are saying. Good luck next time. Thanks for the post.
May 15, 2008 — 7:23 pm
Jeff Brown says:
Now you show up. 🙂
It was a product of two issues.
1. The appraiser’s program defaulted it to a PUD if there was an HOA.
How silly is that?
2. The appraiser refused to move off his position in the face of literally mountains of documented empirically evidence to the contrary.
How do you fight that? We gave them a mental picture of being on the 11 o’clock news. 🙂
May 15, 2008 — 8:04 pm
Craig Tone says:
So you’re saying it isn’t a PUD?
May 15, 2008 — 9:08 pm
Jeff Brown says:
Craig — Somewhere in Phoenix, Brian Brady is laughing with tears running down his cheeks. Good one. I needed that.
May 15, 2008 — 9:13 pm
Brian Brady says:
“So you’re saying it isn’t a PUD?”
I’m laughing now but man oh man. In the thick of it, all I could say was ugh
May 15, 2008 — 10:05 pm
Jeff Brown says:
Folks — you gotta know ‘ugh’ in this case would impress a sailor. 🙂
May 15, 2008 — 10:12 pm
Smithers says:
Sean & Jeff:
There is a Three Stooges movie short, in which Curly said (while “shaving” a block of ice and making small talk as the barber), “Are you married, or are you happy?”
A corollary in my household is: “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?”
As human beings, we sometimes have a hard time making the right choice ….
May 16, 2008 — 2:35 pm
Bawldguy Talking says:
As The Boss said the other night — ‘sure you wanna go there big guy?’ 🙂
My response was, ‘hey, how ’bout those Chargers?!’
May 16, 2008 — 2:41 pm