The Religion (Tyranny) of Niceness

by Mike Farmer

Real Estate Broker

Author website

The forms of tyranny we’re most familiar with are the examples of power and ruthlessness over the more genteel and non-violent. Countries without wide acceptance of rule of law and binding constitutions usually fall under the control of the most vicious and powerful gang.

But here in US, we’re more civilized, we fall under the control of niceness, PC and the egalitarian urge toward mediocrity. Many can hardly wait for those who rise to fall, those who succeed to fail, those who achieve to lose and those who speak a raw truth to be silenced. Pleasantville is home town and the middle is a feel-good state of mind.

However, even in Pleasantville the human trait for dominance exists and niceness is a large, sharp sword in the hands of those who would control through kindness. Those who fail the test of kindness are enemies of the state (of mind). Those who are most kind are the leaders – their subjects strive to be more kind and they hate the unkind. Who are the unkind? Well, that’s usually decided by the leaders of the kind and depends on alliances.

The irony is that the kind can be unkind if it’s for the greater good of the kind, because niceness is subjective and must be determined by the wisdom of the leaders of the kind. Usually the unkind are those who think and act differently than the kind. If the kind believe that group support of self-esteem is more important than honesty, then those who say anything detrimental to the self-esteem of a member of the kind is unkind and therefore not nice, an enemy to be destroyed, even if they are destroyed by unkindness. It’s for the greater good of the kind.

Who doesn’t want to be kind? The number of kind is many because kindness is a virtue and niceness is the religion of the kind. Sometimes the unkind have done nothing but speak their minds, yet in speaking they’ve crossed the line of acceptable honesty and violated the code of kindness and therefore a legitimate target for unkindness for the sake of survival of the kind. Sometimes those deemed unkind have merely spoken out of frustration, yet they spoke wrongly according to the wisdom of kind leaders. Kind leaders may get frustrated and say something unkind, but this is to be understood because they fight for justice and fights can get nasty – remember, though, the greater good.

I know it all gets confusing, but like I said, it’s subjective and therefore dependent on the wisdom of kind leaders.

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I grew up in a rough part of Atlanta, in poverty. I learned many lessons at an early age – two of them:

1. Be aware of politicians who want to “help” the poor.

2. I’ll take a barefooted ragamuffin with irreverence for “proper” over a nice do-gooder any day of the week.

Don’t get me wrong, there are genuinely good people in the world and they are vital, they just don’t use niceness as a weapon or a means to dominate or bring others to their ideas of “proper” discourse– they are good because they are spiritually advanced, therefore not a citizen of Pleasantville nor participants in its politics, but citizens of a higher order where understanding is offered to even the unkindest of voices. Those who would stifle gadflys are not to be followed because where they lead you will die of boredom, buried in a vanilla box.

Disclosure: This has nothing to do with making money in real estate.