There’s always something to howl about.

Hating Selling through the Art of Sales

The friend of the son of a very good friend — an exceedingly polite young man just out of high school — came by late Friday afternoon to sell me some cutlery. I explained when he called to set the appointment that I was already doing some business with the company he was representing in the form of monogrammed house-warming gifts, but he said he’d like to come by anyway. To practice.

He arrived, carefully unsheathed his samples, and pulled out a three ring binder. He opened his presentation with a hand drawn graph of his progress toward his summer goal; if reached, he said, he would win a scholarship. Then he launched into a rote monologue, cribbed nearly verbatim from his notes. Per the script he handed me each utensil as he talked about it, wasn’t sure what to do with his hands after I refused the third one, and was flustered when I asked about something out of turn. All the sales-guy 101 feints were in play: “If you could choose between one of the two sets today, which would you pick?”; “Just for sitting down with me today, I’m authorized to offer you, for no extra cost, these kitchen shears. Is that something you’d be interested in?”

At which point I stopped him. I’ve sat through thousands of presentations and delivered thousands more. I didn’t need another to confirm what I’ve known forever: I hate sales. And salespeople.

So I waxed parental:

“Why, David, didn’t you ask what I was already using, what about it I liked and didn’t? Turn your head: five feet away is a full set of Wusthof; you should have known that before you came to the door. Why didn’t you ask about the sets I was already buying? Clearly there has been a need.

Selling isn’t about glib one liners, happy hour entertaining or pat answers to pre-conceived objections. It’s considerably less about form than substance. It’s about having the knowledge and developing the trust in order to fill the real needs of your customers, better than anyone else.” LOVE parental mode.

Since this has a lot to do with how we approach our profession and since Michael, Greg and Brian are only the last three on BHB to have written about it, here’s what I told him:

Sell the right product at the right price. It may have worked once, but if your client base is Eskimo you don’t look for a line of snow to represent. Even if your sleight-of-hand is sufficient to accomplish the sale, the ill feelings on the back end negate everything. In real estate? See here.

Know your product backward, forward, up, down and sideways –AND your competitions’ product the same way. (Reading from crib sheets doesn’t count.) That way you give spontaneous and substantive answers to questions, the better to help your customers make the right decisions. See here.

And most importantly:

Learn the difference between ACTING like you care about your customers and ACTUALLY caring. That one thing changes everything. Actually caring means thoroughly knowing customer needs and adapting to them, not expecting them to adapt to yours. See here.

When I was done David thanked me for the advice, glanced down at his binder and said: “While I’m packing up, would you mind jotting down the names and phone numbers of three to ten people you think might be able to use CutCo? I’d really appreciate it.”

David intends to major in math.

Good.