Overnight News: Buyer’s Agents: You can’t fight cash with flash, but you can out-humble it.

Every listing is a clinic for me. I don’t list a lot, so I have the time to study things – but I’m the type who studies things, anyway. My goal is to improve my listing praxis, house-by-house, steadily approaching perfection.

I talk about this a lot here, of course, and as with everything else I have to say, nobody listens. But I know I’m getting better, and I know why I’m getting better – this being the entire point of working by praxis, by a mutually-informative collaboration between theory and practice.

So: As a Listing Agent, my objective for my Seller is to identify and contract withe the highest, safest, soonest offer, in that order of priorities. The theory that gets me there is radical transparency, but the practice in the trenches is simply salesmanship: I’ll show you my secrets if you’ll show me yours. I will tell you what to beat in the MLS, but if you phone or text me, I will tell you exactly how to beat the best offer I have.

So here’s a secret for Buyer’s Agents: A over-list offer is not impressive if the appraisal contingency is not waived. Inviting the seller to gamble with his own money can make sense in a down market, but now it’s just pathetic. And yet it’s the go-to move, offer after offer.

What should you do, instead?

You can’t impress me with money you can’t back up, so get to the highest number you can defend, but then fix your focus on safest and soonest.

Those are the places cash is already best, which is how it gets away with discounting, relative to financed offers. Accordingly: If you can beat the cash number and take away the Seller’s fears, you can make a closable deal instead of a deferred disappointment appointment.

So: Waive the appraisal and waive repairs. You’ve still got the ability to cancel, and, since competent adults can contract to any lawful purpose, you still have the power to negotiate about either later on, waivers notwithstanding: Falling out of escrow is more unattractive to both parties with each passing day.

Make the earnest deposit substantial, and make it non-refundable to the Buyer – either upon acceptance or at the end of the inspection period. You have now indemnified the Seller against the risk of contingent funds – not cash.

Find a lender who can close in 28 days or fewer. Cash is still faster, but time is doubt and risk. Call the lister to get his ideal closing date, but the soonest money is the money that can’t fall out because the deal has already closed.

Closing cost concessions? Get bent. Contingent sale? Call me next week – if I’m not Pending already by then.

Here’s the hardest pill for Buyers to swallow: In a market like this, your ideal posture is prostrate. You should plan to yield everything possible to the Seller, even the nickel-’n’-dime stuff, and you should be overjoyed even to be in consideration for acceptance.

Why must you be this humiliatingly humble? Because if you won’t, the next offer will. The is the most extreme kind of Seller’s market, and absolutely everything goes the Seller’s way. If your Buyer resents that, it will show in the paperwork and that will work against you: Resentful Buyers find reasons to flake – or sue.

That’s just plain funny: Effective Buyer’s Agency consists of advising your Buyer to give way to the Seller at every decision point. But here is the reality of my world: I always intend to be done in four days. A hundred or so parties will tour, twenty-five or more will make offers – and one will get the house.

Which one? If it’s not all-cash, it will be all of everything else. The market will change – perhaps soon – but if you are a financed offer bidding against cash, the camouflage of abject humility is your best offense, for now.

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