Yesterday I shared the formula for the perfect Blog post. I acquired this wisdom at the Inman conference, and now it is time to test my new skills as I attempt to target the Scripps Ranch home buyer (and risk killing this bit once and for all). Note to feed reader clients: You may not get the photos, which is a big part of the schtick.
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HOW TO FIND A SCRIPPS RANCH REAL ESTATE AGENT FOR BUYING A SCRIPPS RANCH HOME KRIS BERG KRIS BERG KRIS BERG
If you are planning to relocate to Scripps Ranch from somewhere far from Scripps Ranch, you will probably fly to Scripps Ranch. When you arrive in Scripps Ranch, boy, will your arms be tired!
Many Scripps Ranch real estate agents, like myself, live in Scripps Ranch. Many unnamed others have won awards and recognition for their service to consumers wanting to buy homes in Scripps Ranch. Certainly, you have many choices when selecting a real estate agent, and you will likely want to align yourself with someone ranking above the 85% percentile, or one standard deviation above the mean, on your typical Bell Curve, but this Normal Curve is anything but normal in that the population is diverse, thereby resulting in a flatter graph.
You will be 172.9% more likely to find the perfect Scripps Ranch home, when compared to the 30-day Gross Domestic Product rolling average and taking into account the annualized per capita income of Celtic women, than other consumers if your agent is a Scripps Ranch neighborhood specialist. 
If you have children, you are probably concerned with Scripps Ranch schools in Scripps Ranch. Hypothetically speaking, your agent might have two daughters currently attending Scripps Ranch High School and would therefore be the perfect Scripps Ranch Realtor to help you buy a home (in Scripps Ranch). This illustrative “type” of agent would also be infinitely (a figure of speech as, technically, it is not possible to divide a number by zero) more likely to speak to local sports opportunities, such as Volleyball Camps, and even Exchange Programs to, say, Cairo. That is, if you find these sorts of things and the people who can speak to them interesting, which 97.2 out of 100 times you most certainly will not.
So, in determining which Scripps Ranch real estate agent is the best fit for you when buying a home in Scripps Ranch, it would be wise to search on the Internet. The Internet includes many resources which might demonstrate a particular agent’s knowledge of Scripps Ranch homes and Scripps Ranch real estate. These would include the following: Websites and Technorati, but not Blogs.
Technorati Tags: Technorati, Honest Abe, Gross Domestic Product, Soils Consisting of Clay and Subject to Long-Term Differential Settlement.
Jim Duncan says:
Wow. You have certainly nailed exactly what a good blog should be. We would be so lucky if 500k blogs are launched after Connect using this this formula.
By the way, the pictures came through my reader, but I had to click through to comment. 🙂
August 3, 2007 — 10:30 pm
Kris Berg says:
Jim, I am so glad to hear that I stuck the landing. Thanks for the positive reinforcement! I am going to keep developing these skills. I have a fabulous picture of Stonehenge, but I was just waiting for the right moment.
August 3, 2007 — 11:00 pm
Russell Shaw says:
Those were the very best pictures I have ever seen in any post on any blog I have ever read.
I loved them.
August 3, 2007 — 11:07 pm
Sandy says:
Kris–you are a hoot. I almost wrote that you are hott, and I guess that would have also been true. 🙂
SEO is good but it’s not the end-all be all. You also have to be entertaining. You, however, manage to be both. Kudos.
August 3, 2007 — 11:35 pm
Jeff Brown says:
Kris – I have nothing to say because perfection is what it is.
August 4, 2007 — 12:36 am
Todd Carpenter says:
Kris, I totally get where you are going. Heck, I was sitting right next to you, shaking my head at the same time you were. Still, more than one opinion was shared on the use of Keywords, or pictures with no meaning.
Personally, I have a hard enough time writing something readable for me to be mining my work with Key Words. It doesn’t matter though. Readers find me through all sorts of Google queries. Most, that I never would of thought to Key Word for. I think my site does well in Google because I spend zero time trying to fool it.
August 4, 2007 — 12:46 am
Robert Kerr says:
Great choice of pictures!
August 4, 2007 — 3:23 am
ken says:
Dear Kris,
How much is a house in Scripps Ranch? I want to live there and I believe you are expert.
I found you by searching far and wide on the interent. I typed in “Scripps Ranch”, Spyder Monkey, Bowling and Broccoli…I typed in google, yahoo, ice rocket, ask.com, msn, technorati and aol…every time it led to you…you must be the expert.
You are wicked funny. Thanks for wisdom and laughs.
kb
August 4, 2007 — 4:51 am
Jay Thompson says:
Why doesn’t the Leaning Tower fall over?
August 4, 2007 — 7:59 am
Jonathan Dalton says:
Ask a home inspector, Jay. Just hope they don’t walk on the upper side. Ah, never mind.
That is too bloody funny, Kris. Glad they learned ya something!
August 4, 2007 — 8:11 am
Kris Berg says:
Jay, Settlement on clay soils occurs over a long, long period of time. There is likely little need for concern during our lifetime. Technorati tag: Porosity.
Regarding keywords, my two favorite referring keywords on my own blog this week (both true): racoon hunters prayer, and san diego blog Clay Aiken. If it wasn’t so funny, I might be rethinking my content.
August 4, 2007 — 8:14 am
Doug Quance says:
A treat, as usual, Kris. 🙂
August 4, 2007 — 9:29 am
Phil Hoover says:
Kris ~
After reading this post, I plugged you into my online BS Generator and came up with the following:
http://www.andrewdavidson.com/gibberish/?companyname=Kris+Berg+Real+Estate
August 4, 2007 — 4:11 pm
Jay Thompson says:
Phil – having spent 20+ years in corporate America, I have to say one thing.
That is freaking FUNNY!
August 5, 2007 — 9:10 am
Gary King says:
Hahaha. Great post Chris. I was there too and came away with the pretty much the same feelings as you did. I also liked your San Diego blog post about how one absolutely must have a laptop in tow at these conferences in order to “fit in.” Classic.
August 6, 2007 — 11:49 am