The year is 2015 and the RE online brokerages reign. Buyers search for homes online, click a button to complete a closing, and pick up their keys the next morning to see their NEW home!
Here are some sample voice messages left for the operators at the MegaOnlineBrokerage:
“I thought 13 by 13 meant feet, not inches…”
“I want to list my home online but the value keeps coming up ‘&=null’…”
“This key doesn’t work, how do I get into my house?”
“I thought they were going to fix the A/C before close- it’s burnin’ up in here!”
“The ad said there was a pool, but all I see is a dirty coy pond.”
“I have left 17 messages- will someone please call me back?”
“I must have clicked “buy” at the same time as someone else- this guy ALSO has papers on this house and our movers are fighting over who should unload first.”
“I thought all appliances conveyed- all I have here is a toaster.”
“Does the warranty cover squirrels in the attic?”
and my personal favorite, “This house don’t fit, what’s your return policy?”
What else do YOU suspect will be on the MegaOnlineBroker’s operator voicemail? And what do YOU think the scripted responses will be?
Jeff Brown says:
“I’m curious – just what did 5.5% interest only mean to you?”
May 24, 2007 — 12:32 pm
Mark A. says:
Buyer: Followed the online escrow directions, and went to pick up the keys at your outlet #24-675. There, they said I was supposed to pick it up all the way across town at #24-657.
email response: We have been experiencing some logistical difficulties recently, but rest assured that we’re in the process of resolving these shortly. In the meantime, would you kindly proceed to outlet #24-765, as your keycard will be waiting for you to be picked up. Thank you for your continued business.
May 24, 2007 — 5:45 pm
Lani Anglin says:
OMG too funny (that actually sounds like 2007… scary)!!!!
Keep ’em comin’ everyone! 🙂
May 24, 2007 — 5:59 pm