Yesterday I was in a meeting in which relevant information was disseminated yet some people just refused to LISTEN. I know they could hear what was being said, but for whatever reason they either chose to ignore it or don’t have the mental ability to understand (I really hope that it was the former of the two). This is not meant as a rant, a diatribe, a denunciation (or whatever other label can be attached), but rather as a reminder to those who hear what others say but still don’t listen.
It takes much more to be a participant in a discussion than to just spout off opinions. To some, being a good communicator means being able to speak in public or BS’ing your way through a conversation. Well, actively listening is becoming a lost art. And let’s make clear the difference between “listening” and “hearing”. Hearing, in a nutshell, is having the ability to perceive sound. Listening, on the other hand, is understanding, interpreting, and assessing what is being said. Sometimes you can even see when a person stops listening, you can see the wheels turning in their head as they prepare a rebuttal and just wait for their turn to speak.
Well, for those people, I have a few suggestions:
* Start out with blank, neutral slate and let the speaker have their say; it might even be something that you agree with or new ideas/information that could benefit you. In doing so, give them your undivided attention (yeah, that means no doodling or daydreaming, at least not for now).
* Use non-verbal communication, it will let the speaker know that you are listening. Maintain eye contact (no, not in a creepy stalker way), nod and gesture as appropriately, and use body language. And this is much less disruptive than interrupting.
* When appropriate, ask relevant questions. This allows the speaker to explain their points further (in case they were not clear in their original commentary) and answers questions that others may have. But really, make sure they are RELEVANT questions. If the speaker is giving data about condo sales for the past quarter in your market, perhaps it’s not the right time to ask about vacation days.
I’m sure that there is a plethora of tips to improve active listening skills, but for the sake of brevity I will cut it here. My hope is that a non-listener will read it and pay attention. I’m tired of having a meeting which should last 30 minutes end being 2 hours simply because somebody doesn’t listen but sure enjoys the sound of their own voice. Are you listening?
Don Groff says:
All good points.
May 15, 2010 — 12:53 pm