From Mortgage Company: [Personal Introduction], [Sell Stuff Here], [Warm Closing]

by Dan Green

Mortgage Planner

Author website

So, I get a lot of spam. Maybe you do, too. Usually, my filter stops them. Sometimes, it doesn’t.

Today, an email from “Mortgage Company” got through the gate. It doesn’t happen often and I nearly fell off my chair laughing when I saw the subject line:

“Hurry to lower your credit rate!”

Oooh! Who wouldn’t want that? I figured this would be the worst spam email ever so I opened it (blocking all images, of course).

Here it is. My comments are in boldface.

Dear Client!
(Hey, how did they know my name?)

Do you want to save? Do you not know how?
(Save what? Money? Water? Ferris?)

We will help you! Our company is inviting you to participate in limited time event!
(Limited time? I better act NOW!)

The lenders will lower the rate at your property credit!
(What’s a property credit?)

The lenders will fight for you and offer you all the beneficial variants!
(Oh, it’s like LendingTree — when lenders fight for me, I win. And, who wouldn’t want all of those “beneficial variants”?)

The lowest rates in America will be at your disposal!
(I just realized… these people are serious! Every sentence ends in an exclamation point!)

You need simply to fill in the 30 second Information form and our brokers will contact you immediately!
(All it takes it 30 seconds and beneficial variants can be mine? I am ALL over this! Exclamation point. )

http://companyname.com/
(The company name SOUNDS legit…)

With deepest respect,
Manager Joesph Campbell
(How nice. The manager offers his deepest respect. But he made a spelling error — his own name.)

Yeah, this was a bad one. And yet, all kidding aside, the spam email seems to follow a very predictable (and productive) pattern:

1. Compelling subject line
2. Personalized salutation
3. Identify pain point
4. Offer solution to pain point
5. Create a sense of urgency
6. List three benefits
7. Call to action
8. Formal closing

Unfortunately, the sender botched all eight steps and we can learn something from Mortgage Company.

It’s not following a formula that makes for good marketing — it’s writing compelling copy.

With deepest respect,
Blogger Dan Green

(Image Courtesy: Mark Drew)